Not the end
by princessdancingsunshine3
Summary: This takes place after the triangle. But Lucas chose Maya instead of Riley. Now Riley is struggling trying to hide her feelings from everyone. With the help of Josh and her new friend, Cali. Will she be able to forget her first love? Or will she be pulled back in and fall in love all over again.? Trigger Warning for Rape
1. Chapter 1

Riley Matthews was tired.

She was tired of always coming second place to everyone in her life. Especially to Maya. Yes, she was supposed to be her best friend, but lately she felt as though she was taking over her life. No, that just sounds stupid out loud. But that's the truth isn't it? Here she was sitting in her room on her birthday crying her eyes out. Let's review what happened so far.

(This part is going to be first person in Riley's POV)

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. It was my birthday! I was so excited. I danced out the door still in my pajamas and to the kitchen. Usually on my birthday there is a big steaming tray of chocolate chip pancakes waiting for me. Along with my family singing me happy birthday. But when I got to the kitchen it was empty. All I saw was a bowl of cheerios with a note beside of it. 'Riley, had a big case this morning. Dad had to leave to go to a meeting for work this morning and took Auggie to drop him off at Dewey's. Make sure you get to school on time. Say hi to Maya for me!

-Mom' and then at the very bottom she managed to squeeze in a happy birthday. I sighed and went to get the milk out from the fridge. Just another drop in a sea of disappointment. I got a text from Josh while eating my cereal. 'Hey Kiddie, sorry I can't make it to the party tonight. But I'll make it up to you I promise! Happy Birthday! ? ﾟﾎﾊ? ' I smiled and continued to eat. After I finished my bowl of cereal, I went to my room to get dressed for school. I picked out a simple ringer shirt, with a black button up skirt and my gray converse. I curled my hair and shook out the curls to make them looser. I put on a little amount of make up as usual and grabbed my bag, and my phone. I checked the time and ran out the door. I slid through the doors of the subway just in time. I couldn't find any seats so I stood up. The train stated to move and I turned to see Maya who was sitting in someone's lap. I couldn't see his face, because some sweaty Statue of Liberty guy is in the way. Maya stayed on the guy's lap however and she was giggling. After the next stop the Statue of Liberty guy stole a seat. Once he moved I saw whose lap Maya was sitting on and I almost threw up. It was Lucas. She was sitting there giggling away. Neither of them saw me and I intended to keep it that way. I scooted over to the back of the train as far away from them as possible. I was able to sit down after a man got off. I sat down next to an older man. A tear fell down my cheek and I wiped it away. "Are you okay?" I looked up and saw a girl about my age with turquoise hair. She was wearing skinny jeans and a guns n' roses shirt. "My name's Cali. I just, saw you crying and thought I should see if you were okay." I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, thanks. It's just, my birthday's not really going so great." The train lurched to a stop. "Oh, Happy Birthday. Well this is my stop." She smiled at me then exited the train. I sighed and stood up. It was my stop next. I wanted to get out before Maya and Lucas saw me. As soon as the doors opened I sprinted out and ran off into the bathroom. I wanted to make sure they were passed me. After about ten minutes (they were like turtles) I ran to the school. I was a few blocks from the school when it started to rain. More like pour. Anyways I was getting soaked and I didn't have an umbrella of course. By the time I got to the school I was dripping wet and ten minutes late. I got a pass from the office. The ladies handed me a towel to dry off with and I took it with me to class. I opened the door and all eyes went to me. I handed my dad the note and walked to my seat. "Riley, you were supposed to be here ten minutes ago." I turned to look at my dad. "I know, I had some technical difficulties." I said gesturing to my wet appearance. "Just have a seat and don't let it happen again." I turned and sat in my seat. I still had my towel wrapped around me and since I was sitting under the vent, it was even colder. And it wasn't like the towel was made of wool. I was shivering for a while. "Here Riles, you're freezing take my jacket." I turned around to Lucas who already had his jacket off and was handing it to me. I gave him a small smile, took it, and slid it on. "You know I'm pretty cold too Lucas." I sighed and just looked straight at the board. Of course Maya had to chime in. "Sorry Maya, I don't have another jacket..." "why'd you give it to her then?" "Because she is soaked and freezing Maya." He sounded a little impatient. She quietly huffed and turned back around in her seat. I had to restrain myself from rolling my eyes.

After class I hurried to get out of there. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I scurried to my locker and got my books out fast. I stopped by the bathroom on the way. I picked up my books and was walking to class when I was pulled into the janitor's closet. I was about to scream, but a hand was clamped over my mouth. I relaxed once I saw who it was. "Jeez Lucas! You scared the living daylights out of me!" "Sorry, I just wanted to talk in private." "About?" "Well, I wanted to give you your birthday present." "Well, you could've just given it to me at the party." "No I actually can't, well, I am. But I have two presents." I raised my eyebrows. He handed me a long, thin, velvet box. "Here you go. Happy Birthday Princess." I opened the box and gasped. It was a beautiful charm bracelet. "How did you know I've always wanted a charm bracelet?" "I may have heard you talking about it a few times." I looked at each charm. It held a princess crown, a basketball, a book, a subway car, a planet that looked like Pluto, a sun, a cat, a thunder bolt, a cowboy boot, and finally the Eiffel Tower. It was full with charms. "Yeah I had picked a lot more out, but they wouldn't fit. Do you like it, you probably hate it. Oh god, you hate it don't you?" I pulled him in for a hug. "I love it, thank you!" "Your Welcome. Happy Birthday Riles." I smiled and so did he. We were in kind of a trance. We were slowly inching closer when he warming bell rang. We both jumped out of the daze. "Well I better get to class." "I gotta go." We said at the same time. I reached for the door handle and pulled it open. I hurried off to my next class. I slid into my seat right when the bell rang.

Class was a blur and I was glad to go to lunch. I stopped by my locker to put my books away and get my money. I was about to put the box in the locker. Then I stopped and opened it. I stared at it and smile before taking it out and clipping it around my wrist. I shut my locker and went off to lunch. Maybe this day wouldn't be so bad after all. I started to think before I got into the lunch room and stopped in my tracks. Maya and Lucas were sitting at the table making out. And they weren't being shy about it. I got my lunch which consisted of Mac and cheese (with ketchup of course) an apple, chocolate milk, and a roll. I sat my tray down at the table next to Farkle and Zay. I smiled at them and started picking at my food and ignoring the tonsil war that was occurring on the other side of the table. Farkle pointed to my charm bracelet. "That's pretty, is it new?" Maya and Lucas had separated and I looked over to him. He shook his head slightly. "Um yeah, I got it from my parents for my birthday." "Oh yeah, Happy Birthday Riles." Everyone joined in with their happy birthday's. Maya however was too busy squinting at my charm bracelet. "Everything okay Maya?" She snapped out of her daze and looked at me. "Um yeah, you sure you got that from your parents?" "Well, it was next to my breakfast this morning with a note so yeah, I'd say it's a high probability." I chuckled a little. "It's just your mom didn't mention it-" "wait, you talked to my mom... when?" I said in disbelief. "She called me when she got out of her trial this morning. She wanted to check up to see if I got the letter about my art internship yet..." and just like that, the subject was all about Maya. As usual. After hearing all about how she struggled about what to write her essay about. I stood up. "Well I'm full." "You hardly touched your food." Farkle pointed out. I ignored his comment. "I'll see you guys next period." I grabbed my tray and rushed towards the door.

I didn't see them next period. I decided just to ditch. I needed to cool off before the party tonight. I sat in the bay window for a while staring at my charm bracelet. At about five I started to get ready. I didn't want to dress up super fancy. I put on a white, sleeveless dress with a trimmed waistband. I curled my hair with a big barreled iron and put some of it up if a bun like style. Then I slipped on my nude pumps. The usually amount of make up with a slight cat eye and pink tint to my lips. I looked in the mirror. I shook my charm bracelet down to my wrist from when it got stuck on my forearm. "Well as always. This is as good as it's gonna get." (Hahaha Princess Diaries quote; I love that movie) the doorbell rang and I went to go answer it. I opened it and there stood Lucas, he had a present wrapped in his hand and was staring at me. "Wow, Riles you look beautiful." I blushed and muttered a thanks. He brushed past me. I was about to shut the door when Maya slammed her hand against it to stop it. "Happy. Birthday!" "Thanks!" I held my arms out for a hug, but she brushed past me and walked over to Lucas. "Hey babe." She kissed him. He muttered a hey and glanced at me. Farkle and Isadora came through at that moment and I was never more grateful. Next Zay came. I asked my friends to come a little earlier so I could open their presents separately. I opened Farkle's first, it was certificate. "YOU GOT ME MY OWN STAR! AAAAHHH!" They all chuckled. "Yeah, you know you get to name it." "Five bucks it's gonna be." "Pluto" Zay whispered to Smackle. Who finished his sentence. "Well obviously there's only one real choice! Farkle!" "Why me?" "Because you gave it to me. But also so I can tell people that there's a star named Farkle." They all laughed. I opened the rest of the gifts one by one. I got a kaleidoscope and a book on feminism from Smackle, a coupon book for free hugs from Zay. Who laughed when I asked if I could return the gift. Then he gave me my real present which was a gift card to a spa, I also got a gift card to Demolition and tickets to go see Wicked (my favorite broadway musical) from Maya. I opened Lucas' gift last. When I opened it I found a book. 'To Kill A Mockingbird' this was one of my favorite books. But Lucas knew I already had this. "This was the book I was reading on the subway when we first met. I thought you might like to have it." I smiled and thanked him and then thanked all of them. Only a few minutes later there was a knock and people came piling into our apartment.

I was having some fun at the party, but mainly I was just doing damage control. Making sure nobody spiked the punch, or broke my mom's expensive Persian vase. About an hour into the party some girls from my class asked about my bracelet. I told them the same story I told my friends. They asked to look at the charms. I said sure, but then I spotted a few football players tossing around my dad's signed phillies ball. So I took it off and told them to just leave it there and I'd come back to get it. Maya kept standing by us eyeing the bracelet. I think she might be suspicious. Anyways about ten minutes later I came back and it was gone. I started to panic. I asked the girls who were looking at it and they said that they put it back when they were done. I thanked them and decided that maybe it got misplaced. I needed a moment to myself so I walked to my room. I was about to go in when i heard voices arguing inside. I recognized them immediately, they were Lucas and Maya. The door was open a crack so I peaked inside. I saw Maya dangling my charm bracelet in front of Lucas' face. "Look I don't get what the big deal is? So I gave her and bracelet and a book. So what?" That made Maya more mad. "So what?! You do realize that half of these charms represent romantic moments between you two?" He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "They were just moments, and the charms were just pretty. Can we go back to the party now?" She threw the charm bracelet on the bed. "Do you like her?" "Oh come on Maya!" "Just answer the question! Do you still like her?"!he hesitated for one second. "No Maya, I chose you. I like you." He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. However Maya didn't pick up on that. "Say it again." She demanded. "I don't like Riley, I like you." She kissed him, he kissed her back. "Come on, let's go back. We can do this later." I stood back as the door swung open. He door stopped in front of me so they couldn't see me as they exited the room hand in hand. As it swung back I brushed a few tears away I didn't know had escaped. I went in my room and locked the door. I leaned my back up against the door and slid down the back. Burying my head in my knees, I sobbed. After a minute I decided that I needed to get out of here. I couldn't stand the fact that they were here, in my room, kissing. I grabbed my phone, fifty bucks, and a jacket. I hesitated as I saw the bracelet on the bed. I slowly reached and picked it up. I touched all the charms and tossed it back on the bed. I got to the window and looked back at the room. Then I crawled out.

I was wondering around aimlessly for about a half an hour. I didn't know where I wanted to go. I started to get cold, I wasn't that far from NYU, so I decided to go there. I got on the subway to go a few blocks because my feet were killing me. I went on twitter and saw pictures of my party. I was scrolling through random pictures when I stopped on one. It was a picture of Zay in a sombrero. But in the background Maya and Lucas were kissing. I locked my phone and set it down next to me before I pulled my knee to my chest and openly cried. There was only a few people on the subway anyways. It was about eleven o clock. I heard footstep approach I looked up to see the same girl from this morning. "Hey, you okay?" This time I looked at her and shook my head. "What's wrong?" I started to explain the entire story starting from this morning. "Wow, that's rough. So where you ?" "I'm going to go to my uncle's place. He goes to NYU." The subway skidded to a stop and I stood up. "Thanks." "Don't mention it, here, if you ever need to talk again. Give me a call." She scribbled her number down on a crumpled piece of paper and handed it to me. I have her a small smile and hopped off the train. I walked one block from there to NYU. I got to Josh's dorm and I knocked. He didn't answer. I slid down the door and decided to wait. It wasn't like I had any place to be. A tear slid down my cheek and I wiped it off. Then another came, they kept on coming and I couldn't stop them. Then I was sobbing on the floor. Letting everything out that has happened in the past three months. I didn't hear the clutter of footsteps approaching.

Did you like it? Did you like it? Did ya did ya did ya like it? To quote Alisha Marie. Comment your thoughts on what you think should happen next. I will be taking a short break until after Christmas, but I will try to update before New Years. Please write a review! I love seeing everyone'S point of view. Good or bad. Love you all! Merry Christmas!

Xoxoxo

Mal


	2. Chapter 2

Josh' POV

I just got back from my nighttime class. I was with three of my friends. My roommate Andrew, Derek, and Sam. When we got close to the dorm we all stopped. There was a girl outside our dorm sobbing. We all turned to Andrew. "She's not mine" they all looked at me. "Josh?" I stepped forward. This couldn't be who I thought it was. "Riley?" She looked up. "Josh..." she said in a small, broken voice. She jumped up and ran into my arms. She started to sob even harder. "Riles, what's wrong? Shouldn't you be at your birthday party?" That only made her cry more. My friends looked extremely confused. "I'm sorry, I just didn't know where else to go." "It's okay, here come inside." I opened the door. Andrew pulled my arm, keeping me back. "Dude what's going on? Who is she?" "She's my niece." "Niece?" I nodded. "Oh right, Riley? What's she doing here." "That's what I'm trying to find out. Just wait here for five minutes." I went into the room and found her standing there. Staring at her phone. "What happened Riles?" She shook her head and more tears slipped out. She handed me her phone and I took it. On the screen there was a video. It looked like someone was live streaming her party. I looked and saw that it was Zay. He was outside her bedroom door. "Oh RILEY!" He knocked on the door. He turned around to show that the whole party was behind him. They all shushed each other. "Riles? You in there?" He knocked again when he got no response. He knocked one more time before opening the door and going into the room. "Riley?" The camera was showing her room, her window was wide open and her jackets and scarves that were once on hooks were all scattered on the floor. Drawers were thrown out, as if she left in a hurry. "RILEY?!" He said a little more frantically. "What's wrong?" Farkle and Smackle pushed their way into the room. The doorway was full of people. "She's gone..." "where's Maya and Lucas?" "Check Auggie's room." Farkle went and pushed his way through the door again. "SERIOUSLY!" You couldn't see what was happening, but I could hear them arguing though the screen. "It's Riley's birthday and you guys... now she's gone... find her" "what do you mean she's gone?" They all found their way into the room. They looked kind of shocked at the state of the room. "Well where is she?" Maya asked. "We don't know!" Lucas went off the screen for a second, then the camera turned and followed him. You could hear Farkle and Maya arguing in the background. Smackle was ushering everyone from the party out of the room. Lucas picked something up from the bed and it gleamed as the light hit it. It was a charm bracelet. He held it and sat down on the bed. "You okay bro?" "Where is she..." it was more of a rhetorical question this time as he continued to stare at the bracelet. He looked back up at the camera. "Can you turn that thing off?" "No way what if Riley's watching this?" "Turn it off Zay!" The camera went out of focus and shook. Then it went flying across the room. "Cool it guys!" Zay went and picked up the phone and stared into the camera for a second. Making sure it was still working. Maya was trying to reassure Lucas. "Look I know we're worried about Riley but..." Farkle scoffed "Huh, you're worried huh, is that why you guys were making out in Auggie's bedroom during her birthday party?" "Oh and where were you smart guy while she was leaving?" "I was getting her cake, Smackle was finding the candles, and Zay was getting everyone together. So seems like you guys are the only ones who don't give a shit about what happens to her." "Oh calm down Farkle! She probably just went for a walk to clear her head or something." "Really at eleven o clock at night. In below freezing weather. ON HER BIRTHDAY?!" He scoffed again. "You say you're her best friend..." "okay... how do you turn this off?" Zay muttered into the camera while he struggled. "You know what Farkle fuck you! You have no idea what's going on in our lives!" "Please! I know more than you know!" "Oh! Enlighten us please!" "I know that Riley is not happy, and it's both your faults. I know Lucas isn't happy, and that's his fault. Because he chose you Maya! That's why she left the party! She couldn't handle you two going around the party making out and rubbing it in her face every chance you got! It was like watching freaking 90210!" Meanwhile Zay was still struggling with the camera. "Shit! Turn off damn it!" "And you!" Farkle turned to Lucas who was still sitting on the bed. "What the hell happened to you? What happened to the Lucas I knew?" "I'm still here Farkle." "really! Because the Lucas I know would never shove his relationship with Maya in Riley's face! It's like you two enjoy watching her suffer! You had no idea how many nights she's come to me sobbing because of you two!" "Stop!" Lucas looked up. But he didn't look angry. He had tears in his eyes. "Just stop..." he mumbled and put his face in his hands. "Ha! I KNEW you liked her!" "Maya shut up." Farkle said. "No!" She turned to Lucas again. "So you lied to me!" "EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Everyone looked over at Zay startled. "Geez! All of you are like animals I swear." He took a deep breath and started again. "Look all I know is that Riley is out there god knows where doing god knows what. We don't know anything. And we're in here yelling at each other! So someone better try calling and texting her in the next five seconds before I throw all of you out the window!" They all pulled out their phones with alarming looks and tapped at their phone screen. Texts started lighting up Riley's phone. "Now how do I turn this damn camera off?" He turned it to face himself again while inspecting the camera. "HIT THE BUTTON THAT SAYS END STREAM!" Smackle yelled from the hallway. "Zay turned the camera back around. "Oh... THANKS! There we go..." then it ended. I looked up and saw Riley curled up in the corner. I went over to her and hugged her. "It's okay Riles." "No it's not." She mumbled into her hands. "I've been going through this for so long, and no one's noticed. Except for Farkle... I just." She sighed. "I just don't know how much more of this I can take." Her voice cracked at the end and I felt so bad for her. "Hey, it's all going to be fine. Everything is going to be just fine." I swiped hair back from her face. "Look, why don't you go clean up and take a shower, I'll get you a change of clothes and then we can either talk or just watch old Disney movies together." She looked up and smiled slightly through her tears. She nodded and then got up and went into the connecting bathroom. Her phone was still lighting up. I sent a quick text to Farkle assuring them that she was fine, not telling him where she was however. Then I turned off the phone and put it in my dresser. I walked to the door. "Hey guys? Can we reschedule? She's a mess and I have to deal with this." "Yeah sure, she gonna be okay?" I leaned against the door slightly and looked at them. "I don't know..."

 **Sooooo... I lied. I decided to go ahead and update this now. There will be ore Rucas in the next chapter. I am trying to decide if I should make Riley confront them or not. Because I don't think Riley would explode, but but I think she would get fed up with it eventually. So please write a review telling me. Merry Christmas! This is a little present to you all! I love you all and hope you guys have a great Christmas! I will try and update soon.**

 **xoxo**

 **-Mallory**


	3. Chapter 3

Riley's POV

I woke up the next morning and didn't recognize where I was. I started to panic, until I saw that Josh was on the bed next to me. His roommate was nowhere in sight. I looked around for my phone, but I couldn't find it. "Josh. Where's my phone?" He groaned and turned over in the bed. "Dresser..." was all he said before passing out again. I went in the dresser and found my phone. I looked to see hundreds, literally, of texts from my friends. I ignored them all and tossed the phone on the bed. I got up and saw that I was only in a t shirt of josh's. I changed back into my dress. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail, and grabbed Josh's NYU hoodie.i scribbled a note to josh, saying that I would be back later, before leaving. While I was walking I took a piece of paper from my dress pocket. (Yes, her dress has pockets) I stared at the number on the screen for a second before pressing the send button. I put the phone up to my ear. As I got onto the subway, they picked up the phone. "Hey it's me... the girl from the subway... I was wondering if I could take you up on your offer to talk?" I sighed in relief when I heard the reply. "Great thanks. Yeah meet me at this place called Topanga's. ok bye." I hung up the phone and got off at my stop. When I got to my corner, it was quiet. Which is unusual. I quietly creeped through the bay window. I stumbled and saw that I almost stepped on Zay's head. All my friends were lying on the floor, sleeping. Great. I tiptoed my way around the floor. Pulling on some jeans, and my converse and keeping my hoodie on. On my way out I accidentally hit Lucas' foot. I cringed. He stirred and slightly sat up. "Riley..." he said groggily. "You're dreaming... go back to sleep." He nodded, obviously too tired to make sense of this, and laid back down to sleep. I climbed out the window. When I got to Topanga's I sat down in a booth. I still had about an hour and a half until I had to meet her, so I ordered a smoothie and was stirring it in my cup. After about an hour, the door bell jingled and I looked up and sank down in my seat. They all just walked in, and sat in the booth behind me. I had pulled my hoodie up so they didn't recognize me. "I'm really worried about Riley." That was Zay. "I know, but she texted me and said that she was okay." I did? When? I checked my texts to see if this was true only to find out it was. Josh must've done it as an attempt to get them to stop texting me. "Where do you think she is?" Lucas. "Who can say..." Smackle. They continued their conversation, and hey completely ignored me. Well, up until the waitress came back. "Here's your check m'am. Your mother wants you to call her too. Happy late birthday." I cringed, but smiled. I kept my head down and hoped they didn't notice. I heard footsteps circle the table and then my hood got tugged down. I inwardly cursed. "Riles?" I looked up. "Riley." I said shortly. Maya looked taken aback. "Look, I'm sorry you guys are worried about me, but I'm fine. And I'm kind of waiting for someone so..." they didn't budge. "Fine if you won't move, I will." I made a move to get out, but Zay and Lucas moved to block me. "We have to talk Riles." I glared at Lucas. "Riley. And why do you suddenly care now about talking? You never have before. You either just talk to me when there's no one else around or your off make out with your girlfriend." I spat out the word girlfriend. They all looked kind of shocked at my tone, except for Farkle. He just looked at me sadly. I was on a roll. And I didn't want to stop because for once in my life, I was afraid what would happen if I didn't talk. I turned to Maya. "And you! Constantly rubbing it in my face that he chose you. I get it! You don't have to stake your claims in him every time we're together!" The few people who were in here were now all staring at them. "Actually the only one who really knows how I feel is Farkle, because I would call him and go to his house to talk to him or just cry. Because I used to cry all the time. But not anymore. You guys forgot my birthday. You didn't say anything until I mentioned it. And being busy is no excuse. I'm not the same girl I was yesterday. That girl would take all of your crap. But not anymore. So just do us all a favor and just leave me alone." I was standing now, because they all had backed up a few feet during my rant. The door jingled again and I saw Cali. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm meeting someone." I pushed past them. "C'mon, lets go somewhere else." I stormed out the door and she followed. "Wow, that was something, let me guess. Those were your friends." I nodded. "Rough." "Yup. So where do you want to go?" "I have a place in mind."

I walked out of the hair salon an hour later. I looked in the camera in my phone and looked at my hair. Which was once, long, and luscious, it is now cut up to my collar bone. "Cute!" Cali commented as I modeled it for her. She had to run and take a call quickly and missed seeing the result. "So what now?" I looked at the time. It was only 2. "Let's go to the park." We walked throughout the park until Cali wanted to show me something. She lead me into a patch of bushes. "Is this the part where you kill me?" She laughed. Once I got through the branches I looked around. Behind the bushes, there was a little area with a bench and a stream, with a willow tree over the bench. "This is so cool!" She nodded and sat down. "I know. This is where I come to escape all the noise of the city. Usually I just sit and think, but you're here so let's talk." We sat for about an hour talking. Mostly about her, but we near the end we reared into my "situation". "They seem pretty... what's the word?" "Oblivious, neglecting, forgetful?" "I was going to say confusing. Especially that boy Lucas. And your best friend-" "ex- best friend." She nodded once and looked at the stream. "I just don't get why someone who was supposed to love me the most, forgot me in the end?" "Some people are oblivious and only see the things that they want to see. And some people, no matter how much they want to see, just can't." We sat for a minute and thought until my phone rang and startled us both. I answered it quickly when I saw Josh's name. "Hey what's up?" He hesitated. "Ummmm you might want to get here like now." "What why?" "Just come." Then he hung up. "Okkkaaayyy, so I have to go to my uncle's place. Wanna come." She got up and we walked to the subway. She was telling me this hilarious story about her first date. The guy spilled the popcorn all over her and then tried to clean it up and then knocked their large coke on her too. Then he was making so much noise they got kicked out of the movie theater. I was pretty much crying when we got to the door. And still laughing when I opened the door. But my laughter halted when I saw what was inside. "What are you guys doing here?"

 **Hey guys! Happy 2017! New year, same me. You guys probably heard about GMW being cancelled, but there is a chance that Netflix will pick it up. I talked to a rep and he said that if we make enough noise, they will try hard to get it. Yay! But regardless if they do or not. I will still write. I hope you guys like this chapter. I'm sorry about the cliff hanger, I don't like them either, but I thought it was a good way to end this chapter. Hint: it's not who you think it will be.**

 **Love you all and promise to update soon!**

 **xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

(This is going to be a flashback chapter, multiple times; it might get confusing)

Farkle POV

Three Months Ago

 _*Knock knock knock*_

 _I woke up and stared at my clock groggily. *knock knock knock* it was 11 o clock at night, who could be at the door? *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* they were getting more frantic now. I got out out of bed and dragged myself down the stairs. *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* I opened the door to find the air knocked out of me. There was a small figure clinging to me. "Riley?" She pulled back, but kept her hands on my shoulders. I brushed strands of hair that were sticking to her face away to see her tear stained face. "What's wrong?" "I'm sorry... I just didn't know where else to go..." she took her hands off my shoulders and walked into the apartment. I shut the door, and walked over to the couch where she was now sitting. She was sniffling. "What happened?" She sighed. "What do you think happened? Feelings. They ruin everything... Lucas picked Maya..." "what?" She nodded. "When?" "Like an hour ago. I could hear my parents talking with her about it, they were excited for her... they didn't even care about me... I just.. had to get out of there." I hugged her. "I'm sorry Riley." "It's funny, I knew all along that he was going to pick her.. but I still had hope you know... well you know what Maya always says hope is for suckers..._

Riley had come over a lot since then. Sometimes she would just want to talk about it, other times she would want to distract herself with a movie or something, most of the time she would just sit and cry for a while and I comforted her. And sometimes (like this night) were the worst.

 **The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.**

 _*knock knock knock* I trudged down the stairs at 9 PM. I stopped when I heard a thud on the other side of the door. I approached it cautiously and looked through the peep hole. I didn't see anything. I opened the door slowly. I saw Riley on the ground. Her hair a mess and her makeup smeared. With her head propped up with on hand. She had a fancy dress on and looked like she had been running for a while, because it was raining outside and she was still wet._

 _She didn't even notice me until the door bumped against the wall. She looked up. She looked like a mess, and she seemed exhausted. I walked over to her and helped her up. She almost collapsed so I threw her arm over my shoulder and helped her into the apartment. I took her to my room and called for my maid. When she showed up I told her to run a hot bath and to bring some water. Once the bath was ready, I lifted Riley up off the bed and carried her into the bathroom. And sat her on the edge of the tub. The maid came in and took off her dress, but I was out of the bathroom by that point. I heard her yelp at the hot water. "It's too hot..." she said in a tired voice. I waited while the maids washed her and took care of her. They dressed her in the clothes I gave them. Which were one of my NASA shirts and sweatpants. When they were done they came out of the bathroom and gave me the ok for me to go in. One of the nurses gave me a look that scared me... it was a look of pure pity and sadness and she looked like she was going to cry. I went in and found her sitting down against the wall. Her legs were laid out in front of her. I looked at her and I realized that she wasn't just tired from running. She looked like she hadn't slept in weeks. She had bags under her eyes, eyes that didn't show life anymore. They weren't the sad ones I saw so often, they were just empty. I sank down to the floor and sat beside of her. "I'm sorry Riley..." she looked straight ahead. "I'm used to it." She laid her head on my shoulder, and we stayed there for a while._

After that night, I watched her every day. I saw the difference in her smiles. I saw her smile when she wanted to cry. She would come to me almost every night. But she wouldn't cry anymore. We would just lie down or sit on the ground and just talk. Or sometimes she would stare at the wall or off into space and I would stare at her. Wondering how we got here.

 _One night we were lying on our backs looking up at the solar system on my ceiling when she said something that really hit me. "Everything good here dies... even the stars." We didn't say anything for a while we just looked at the stars. And that's the first time I noticed. How broken she was._


	5. Chapter 5

(Two years later)

Here I was, standing JFK. Back in New York. "Riley!" I looked up and squealed. I ran and grabbed Cali in a hug. "AHHH I missed you so much!" "It's been too long since last Christmas!" I grabbed one of my bags while she grabbed the other. "The others miss you too, Farkle and Smackle couldn't come because of this weird invention, and Zay is finishing up summer school." I laughed. "Yup, that seems about right. It's totally fine, I'll see them later." As we walked we tried to avoid the elephant in the room. "So, are you nervous about coming back to school?" "Nah, it'll be fine. Same old students, same teachers, same studies. I'll be fine." She looked at me. "What?" I laughed. "You just seem different..." "Is that a good thing or a bad thing." "No it's good. You seem more confident and sure of yourself." We walked in silence for a minute until she brought up one of the inevitable conversations that I was bound to have. "Sooo... Kyle... how did that work out?" I looked away. "You know, we dated for a while and then..." just thinking about it brought tears to my eyes. "He just... wasn't who I thought he was.." she nodded. "You know, I'm starving." I looked at her and smile. "Topanga's?" And I laughed and nodded.

Once we ordered and sat down at a booth I started telling her about my trip. "Mum, Dad, and Auggie came in last night. I couldn't because I had some thing to finish up." Hoping that she wouldn't ask for details about what. And luckily she didn't. She started laughing. "Did you just say Mum?" I was laughing with her now. "What can I say? London rubs off on you. The food there is certainly better." I threw a piece of my pastry at her. "Careful, this IS you mom's bakery. Or should I say... Mum's" that sent her into a fit of laughter with me giggling with her. I felt someone slide into the booth next to me."Wow I thought you'd be more happy to see us." "FARKLE!" I grabbed him in a hug. "I missed you so much!" Smackle slid in on my other side. "Careful Bubbles. He's mine." "I wouldn't dream of it Smackle" I said, giving her a hug. "Cotton Candy Face!" Zay sat down beside Cali. "Zay! I would give you a hug but..." I gestured to the two geniuses trapping me in the seat. He nodded and laughed. "So... how was London? Is it true that the signature on the Mona Lisa is fake? Is the Eiffel Tower structurally sound? Is-" "woah Smackle slow down..." Zay exclaimed. "Farkle, I need some more coffee, can you?" He scooted out before I even finished. "Thanks." I headed over to the counter with him trailing behind me. "Listen Riley I need to know. What happened with-" I whipped around and covered his mouth. "Shhhhh!" I grabbed him arm and dragged him to the back of the store.

Once we were safe I uncovered his mouth. And then he started asking the questions. "What happened with Kyle? Did you tell your parents yet? Did you go to the hospital or the police or something?" "Farkle hush! No. I haven't told anyone, you only know because your dad's company owned the cameras in the room. Which by the way is a complete invasion of privacy. How is that not illegal?" He rolled his eyes. "Riley, this is serious!" "I am being serious Farkle! I can't tell anyone!" "Why not?!" "You know what everyone will think of me. They wont listen to my side of the story. Plus, you know how hard it is to prove something like this?" "It's easier, since my dad owns a copy of the video!" "No! Ok. You can't show that to anyone! Did you tell anyone?" "No, I did what you asked. But you need to tell someone Riley. It's not healthy for you to keep a secret like this." "I know Farkle." "I care about you Riley. Do you know how hard it was? As much as I wanted to I couldn't do anything to help you. I just don't want you to get more hurt than you already have." "I won't. He's in London. He can't do anything while I'm here." "Just know that I'm always here if you want to talk." I smiled and nodded, while wiping the tears that had snuck out. I turned to go back and he followed.

I grabbed my coffee while he went back to the table. When I turned with my cup, I ran into someone, spilling the coffee all over them. I looked up. There he was, the guy who haunted my dreams for two years. I didn't say anything. I held my head up high, grabbed another cup of coffee and sauntered my way back to the table without a second glance. I plopped down beside Farkle and sighed. Soon after, I heard the jingle of bells signaling that the coast way clear.

I was walking back to my apartment with Cali. "So first run in with the dark lord himself..." I laughed. "You can say his name Cali." "No, he will henceforth be known as the dark lord." I shook my head giggling. "So, how is Lucas? She glared at me. "Sorry the 'Dark Lord'" she nodded and then continued. "Well, I haven't talked to him much. Not that I did before I knew you guys. But I have seen him. Just in the halls. There's also the fact that he's the star quarterback and his girlfriend is the head cheerleader- oooohhhhh" she turned to me with bug eyes. "Sorry..." "It's fine. I really don't care anymore." "Good for you, your staying strong. And who cares about that Fearleader and her Flying Monkey? You've got us! We're like the Avengers! I CALL IRON MAN!" I laughed. "Fine you can have him. I wanted Chris Evans anyways."

I flopped down on my bed. Which was basically just a mattress and and sleeping bag. I was too tired to make my bed. But no matter how tired I was, I couldn't fall asleep. I knew what would happen if I did... Instead, I pulled out my laptop and scrolled through twitter. I saw a bunch of pictures and tweets from my old classmates or current ones I guess. I messaged a few friends from London. Then I scrolled to see a picture of the 'Wicked Witch and her Flying Monkey' As I heard Zay and Farkle refer to them a few times earlier. She was kissing his cheek after a football game while he held the football in his hand. The caption read. 'Can't wait for a another school year of winning with my Pookie!' There were various comments underneath. I was expecting to feel angry or sad or something. But a new emotion bubbled up. Stress. When I thought about them I thought about when I left and what happened after I left. I slammed the top of my laptop closed and tossed it on my bed as I stood up and stared pacing. "Stop it Riley. You have nothing to worry about. You're going to go to school tomorrow. You're going to see all your friends and avoid the Witch and her Monkey. Everything will be fine. Now just go to bed." I moved the laptop off the bed and climbed in. Wrapping the covers over my head I laid there staring at the ground. "Everything thing will be fine." I said to myself on repeat. "But will it?"

 **Wow! Update so soon! Well, I've already written the other chapter and I plan on updating it soon. I have a big plan! And I'm really excited for it! Now I know you're probably wondering beta Roley and Farkle were talking about and don't worry. You'll get more information soon. And I didn't put much inferaction between Lucas, Maya, and Riley because I didn't want her to forgive them yet and she provbabky won't for a while. But I will put more interaction in the next few chapters. I didn't want this to be where Lucas turns into a major jerk and it won't be that way. He has changed since Riley left, but in a good way and you'll see that later. I promise to update soon!**

 **Xoxo**

 **Mal**


	6. Chapter 6

(Two years later)

Here I was, standing JFK. Back in New York. "Riley!" I looked up and squealed. I ran and grabbed Cali in a hug. "AHHH I missed you so much!" "It's been too long since last Christmas!" I grabbed one of my bags while she grabbed the other. "The others miss you too, Farkle and Smackle couldn't come because of this weird invention, and Zay is finishing up summer school." I laughed. "Yup, that seems about right. It's totally fine, I'll see them later." As we walked we tried to avoid the elephant in the room. "So, are you nervous about coming back to school?" "Nah, it'll be fine. Same old students, same teachers, same studies. I'll be fine." She looked at me. "What?" I laughed. "You just seem different..." "Is that a good thing or a bad thing." "No it's good. You seem more confident and sure of yourself." We walked in silence for a minute until she brought up one of the inevitable conversations that I was bound to have. "Sooo... Kyle... how did that work out?" I looked away. "You know, we dated for a while and then..." just thinking about it brought tears to my eyes. "He just... wasn't who I thought he was.." she nodded. "You know, I'm starving." I looked at her and smile. "Topanga's?" And I laughed and nodded.

Once we ordered and sat down at a booth I started telling her about my trip. "Mum, Dad, and Auggie came in last night. I couldn't because I had some thing to finish up." Hoping that she wouldn't ask for details about what. And luckily she didn't. She started laughing. "Did you just say Mum?" I was laughing with her now. "What can I say? London rubs off on you. The food there is certainly better." I threw a piece of my pastry at her. "Careful, this IS you mom's bakery. Or should I say... Mum's" that sent her into a fit of laughter with me giggling with her. I felt someone slide into the booth next to me."Wow I thought you'd be more happy to see us." "FARKLE!" I grabbed him in a hug. "I missed you so much!" Smackle slid in on my other side. "Careful Bubbles. He's mine." "I wouldn't dream of it Smackle" I said, giving her a hug. "Cotton Candy Face!" Zay sat down beside Cali. "Zay! I would give you a hug but..." I gestured to the two geniuses trapping me in the seat. He nodded and laughed. "So... how was London? Is it true that the signature on the Mona Lisa is fake? Is the Eiffel Tower structurally sound? Is-" "woah Smackle slow down..." Zay exclaimed. "Farkle, I need some more coffee, can you?" He scooted out before I even finished. "Thanks." I headed over to the counter with him trailing behind me. "Listen Riley I need to know. What happened with-" I whipped around and covered his mouth. "Shhhhh!" I grabbed him arm and dragged him to the back of the store.

Once we were safe I uncovered his mouth. And then he started asking the questions. "What happened with Kyle? Did you tell your parents yet? Did you go to the hospital or the police or something?" "Farkle hush! No. I haven't told anyone, you only know because your dad's company owned the cameras in my room. Which by the way is a complete invasion of privacy." He rolled his eyes. "Riley, this is serious!" "I am being serious Farkle! I can't tell anyone!" "Why not?!" "You know what everyone will think of me. They wont listen to my side of the story. Plus, you know how hard it is to prove something like this?" "It's easier, since my dad owns a copy of the video!" "No! Ok. You can't show that to anyone! Did you tell anyone?" "No, I did what you asked. But you need to tell someone Riley. It's not healthy for you to keep a secret like this." "I know Farkle." "I care about you Riley. Do you know how hard it was? As much as I wanted to I couldn't do anything to help you. I just don't want you to get more hurt than you already have." "I won't. He's in London. He can't do anything while I'm here." "Just know that I'm always here if you want to talk." I smiled and nodded, while wiping the tears that had snuck out. I turned to go back and he followed.

I grabbed my coffee while he went back to the table. When I turned with my cup, I ran into someone, spilling the coffee all over them. I looked up. There he was, the guy who haunted my dreams for two years. I didn't say anything. I held my head up high, grabbed another cup of coffee and sauntered my way back to the table without a second glance. I plopped down beside Farkle and sighed. Soon after, I heard the jingle of bells signaling that the coast way clear.

I was walking back to my apartment with Cali. "So first run in with the dark lord himself..." I laughed. "You can say his name Cali." "No, he will henceforth be known as the dark lord." I shook my head giggling. "So, how is Lucas? She glared at me. "Sorry the 'Dark Lord'" she nodded and then continued. "Well, I haven't talked to him much. Not that I did before I knew you guys. But I have seen him. Just in the halls. There's also the fact that he's the star quarterback and his girlfriend is the head cheerleader- oooohhhhh" she turned to me with bug eyes. "Sorry..." "It's fine. I really don't care anymore." "Good for you, your staying strong. And who cares about that Fearleader and her Flying Monkey? You've got us! We're like the Avengers! I CALL IRON MAN!" I laughed. "Fine you can have him. I wanted Chris Evans anyways."

I flopped down on my bed. Which was basically just a mattress and and sleeping bag. I was too tired to make my bed. But no matter how tired I was, I couldn't fall asleep. I knew what would happen if I did... Instead, I pulled out my laptop and scrolled through twitter. I saw a bunch of pictures and tweets from my old classmates or current ones I guess. I messaged a few friends from London. Then I scrolled to see a picture of the 'Wicked Witch and her Flying Monkey' As I heard Zay and Farkle refer to them a few times earlier. She was kissing his cheek after a football game while he held the football in his hand. The caption read. 'Can't wait for a another school year of winning with my Pookie!' There were various comments underneath. I was expecting to feel angry or sad or something. But a new emotion bubbled up. Stress. When I thought about them I thought about when I left and what happened after I left. I slammed the top of my laptop closed and tossed it on my bed as I stood up and stared pacing. "Stop it Riley. You have nothing to worry about. You're going to go to school tomorrow. You're going to see all your friends and avoid the Witch and her Monkey. Everything will be fine. Now just go to bed." I moved the laptop off the bed and climbed in. Wrapping the covers over my head I laid there staring at the ground. "Everything thing will be fine." I said to myself on repeat. "But will it?"

 **Wow! Update so soon! Well, I've already written the other chapter and I plan on updating it soon. I have a big plan! And I'm really excited for it! Now I know you're probably wondering beta Roley and Farkle were talking about and don't worry. You'll get more information soon. And I didn't put much inferaction between Lucas, Maya, and Riley because I didn't want her to forgive them yet and she provbabky won't for a while. But I will put more interaction in the next few chapters. I didn't want this to be where Lucas turns into a major jerk and it won't be that way. He has changed since Riley left, but in a good way and you'll see that later. I promise to update soon!**

 **Xoxo**

 **Mal**


	7. Chapter 7

I laid there staring at the ground, waiting for the alarm to go off. When I did I slammed my hand down on the button to silence it and jumped out of bed. My style had changed a lot in the past two years. I became more confident with who I was and the way I looked. My dad didn't like the way I dressed, but I liked it. I slid on some dark wash ripped skinny jeans, a tight cropped black halter top, and pink lace up boots. I curled my hair and put on a good amount of makeup before grabbing my bag and pulling a sweater over my top, knowing that my dad would never let me leave the house in that shirt.

Once I got to the table I was greeted by my mother and plates full of food. She eyed my sweater, but didn't say anything. She knew my tricks, and though she won't admit it, I know she likes my style. My dad came in and gave me the same look about my sweater, like he didn't believe that I'd actually wear that. And he was right. But I ignored his questions and went to the bench. Almost as soon as I sat down, my phone buzzed. I saw it was Cali texting me telling me that the gang was here and we had to go. "I got to go, bye mom." I grabbed a bagel and kissed my mom's cheek, then ran out the door.

Zay eyed my sweater. "Nice sweater Riles." Cali elbowed him. I check behind me to see if the coast was clear. Then I pulled off my sweater. I stuffed the sweater in my bag. "Okay let's go." I grabbed Cali's arm and started walking fast. "Why are we going so fast?" I was about to answer when she got it when my dad came out of the house. "I KNEW IT! TOPANGA! IT HAPPENED AGAIN! RILEY! GET BACK HERE! STOP RUNNING!" We ran onto the subway out of breath and laughing. I turned to sit down when I heard a yelp. "HEY!" I jumped back up. I had just sat on someone. "Sorry." I turned to see the Wicked Witch herself. Considering she didn't see the least bit shocked, she must not have recognized me. "I am not a seat cushion!" "Whatever." I rolled my eyes and walked to the other side of the subway. My friends followed me.

Once we stopped, we all piled out of the subway. "Freedom!" I yelled while twirling. We all laughed and continued to the school.

We stood at the entrance to the school. "Ready Riles?" They all turned to me. I pushed the door open without a second thought and strode into the school with Cali next to me and the rest closely behind.

When we got into the school, people were looking at us. Well, me. Whispering. "Is that Riley Matthews?" "Didn't she move to London?" "What happened to her?" I ignored all the comments and stares and kept on walking. I had to stop by the office to get my schedule so I said goodbye to the group. When I got in I was greeted by the stares of the office ladies. I was given my schedule and waltzed out of the office. As I was walking I heard laughter and cat calls, so I turned to see a pack of meathead jocks with the 'Dark Lord' at the center. They were all shoving one another. Lucas was just staring at me, while leaning up against the lockers. I got to my locker. Once I opened it, it suddenly slammed shut. "Hey beautiful." I gave a tight smile and tried to open my locker again. Only for it to be slammed shut again. I was getting frustrated now. "Look I'm Walsh. And you're hot." I glared at him and forced my locker open past his hand. I could hear the pack of meatheads behind me. He still continued with his horrible attempts. "I googled the name gorgeous and pictures of you kept popping up." I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure you'll get the same result if you google not interested." I slammed my locker door shut. "OOOOHHHHHH" that ways the meatheads behind me. I shoved my way by them as I went down the hall.

The bell rang just as I got to the classroom door. "Are you kidding me?" I opened the door to find twenty pairs of eyes shift in my direction. A bunch of the boys in the class sat up straight or took their head out of their hands to stare at me. And I'm not trying to sound big headed. That's just how it was. "Ah, Miss Matthews I presume?" I smiled and handed her the pink slip the office gave me. "Have a seat anywhere you like." Luckily this class had all my friends in it. They sat at the back of the class, weird since the front half of the desks were still unoccupied. I noticed they saved me a seat, so I walked to the back and sat down. "So, welcome to Advanced Biology. Now I know that it's the first day, but we are going to jump right in. So please pull out your books to page-" the door opened and in walked the Wicked witch and her Flying Monkey, along with some of the meatheads and the Witch's henchmen. They occupied the front half of the class. "Ok now that the royal court has joined us, we will begin with talking about human anatomy." "Trust me, I know about human anatomy or at least women's anatomy." Walsh I think his name was, said that while high fiving his friends. I laughed "Please, the only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait." Everyone in the back of the class snickered while the front half or the 'Royal Court' turned around. "C'mon babe I know you want me"

(Flashback)

"C'mon babe, I know you want me."

"The only thing I want from you is to go away." "Please you beg for it." The tears trickle down my cheeks. "Your lying." "Please your just like everyone other slut at this school." "Stop!"

I recovered quickly. "Well I'd love to see from your perception but I can't seem to fit my head that far up my ass." "Is it that time of the month again?" Everyone gasped and all his friends laughed. "You do realize that periods are just girls' excuse so they don't have to hook up with you right?" The apparent 'losers' laughed while the 'Royal court' sneered at us. He was about to make another comment when the teacher cut him off. "Ok guys, stop. Let's get started, now..." I stopped paying attention after she started talking.

I walked into the lunch room after 2nd period, there were only four periods in the day, and they were all an hour and a half long. But after my Advanced Algebra class, I was starving. I saw my friends so I went to the table and sat down. "Question, is anything here actually edible?" I looked at their trays. "We've all gotten used to it, but since your new to this cafeteria, I'd stick to the vending machine." I nodded at Zay and got up. There weren't many choices besides cookies and candy. I saw a bag of barbecue chips. I was fishing around my bag for one dollar, when one appeared in front of my face. I looked and saw that it was a guy I didn't recognize. "Here." I took it cautiously. "Thanks." I put it in and pushed C4. "I'm Noah, by the way." "Riley" "Yeah I know. You're the new girl." "I guess you could say that. He chuckled and leaned on the machine. He actually seemed kind of nice. Maybe all the guys in this school aren't total pigs. "So I've always had this fantasy about hooking up with a slutty new girl. Wanna help me make it a reality?" I stand corrected. "Yeah, sorry but I don't hook up with pigs. I could get a disease." I grabbed my chips and walked back to the table. He grabbed my arm and I jerked away. "Don't touch me!" "C'mon babe don't be like that." He grabbed my arm and spun me back forcefully. I gasped and got a flashback.

*flashback*

"Let go of me!"

"C'mon babe don't be like that."

"Stop it! Kyle!"

My eyes weren't in focus, but I heard someone screaming. When I could see again I saw Noah three feet away and everyone staring at me. Then I noticed that I was the person screaming. I was breathing really heavily and the room started to spin. I dropped my chips and ran out as fast as I could. I could hear my friends yelling my name behind me, but I kept running. That's all I could do. Run. I had tears streaming down my cheeks. Finally I ran behind the school and slammed into the brick wall. I slid down to the ground, sobs racking my body. I couldn't breathe. I heard footsteps run around the corner. "Riley!" Farkle. He sat down beside me and wrapped his arms around me while I cried. "Shhhh it's okay." I knew what this was. It was a panic attack. I couldn't control anything. I used to get them all the time, but I haven't had one in a few months. I just cried and cried until there were no more tears left to cry. I was hiccuping and I felt really dizzy. "It's okay Riley." He pushed my hair out of my tears. "It's... not... o...kay..." I said in between hiccups and sobs.

It took thirty minutes for me to stop crying and to calm down. I knew that I looked like a mess. My hair was wild, my eyes were puffy, I probably had mascara all over my face. But I didn't care. Farkle and I sat there for a little while before he tried to speak, but I knew what he would ask. "Riley-" "I'm okay Farkle. Really." I sighed. "They all think I'm a freak now." He looked over at me. "They don't know the story." "And they never will. Ok. You cannot tell anyone!" "I know. And I won't. But I think you should. Riley, this is killing you." "It's fine Farkle." "No it's not. You are not ok." I felt the tears prickle in my eyes again. "This secret may not have scarred you physically, but it scarred you mentally. And it's tearing you down from the inside." I felt the tears trickle down my cheeks. But it was a slow crying and controlled. "I just... when I tell them... everything will change. What they say, the way they look at me, the way they talk to me, how they was they act around me. It'll hurt them." "But it's hurting you Riley. And trust me, they'd rather help you than watch you suffer. Because from this point of view, it sucks just as much." "I love you Farkle." "And I love you. Now c'mon." He got up and I stared at him. "You don't want your dad to suspect anything do you? We've already missed third period. We can't miss his class too." I nodded and took his hand to stand up. He hugged me. "You might want to head to a bathroom first though." I laughed and wiped the tears off my cheeks. "I was planning on it." Then we walked back into school. With his arm around me and me leaning on his shoulder.

 **so I just realized that I updated the wrong chapter oops. Well. Now you know what happened. I'll add it back in maybe a few days.**

 **Mal**


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up that night to the rain pounding on my window. I've grown to love the rain. It helps me fall asleep. I looked at the clock. 12:43 AM. I laid there for a while before I went over and sat by the bay window. I've avoided it since I got back. But watching the rain was just so soothing. It was one of those thunderstorms where the second you step outside you would get soaked. It was so peaceful. No one was out in this weather or at this time of night. I just sat there watching the rain pound down when I saw something. A lady. Running down the street. She had a bright red coat on but she was soaking wet. I saw a man chasing after her. He called something out, probably her name. She halted and turned around. He slowed as he reached her. They seemed to be arguing. She turned to leave, then he took her in his arms and kissed her. It was one of those movie kisses where time seems to stop. Even from this perspective. It seemed like such a lovely affair. I smiled at the thought of being kissed like that. I left them kissing and climbed back on the bed. And laid there thinking for a while. About everything that happened.

Tears were falling off my cheeks. My head fell into my hands and I fell sideways onto the bed. I could still feel his hands on me. I could feel the room closing in and I knew I had to get out of here. I didn't care that it was pouring and that I was only wearing sweatpants and a tank top. I got soaked as soon as I climbed through the window. I went down the fire escape and ran like my life depended on it. I didn't know where I was going, I just ran. Eventually I had to stop and catch my breath. I was walking when I saw someone walking down the street towards me. I kept walking. The figure got bigger and bigger. I realized it was a man and I got scared. As I walked past him he grabbed my arm. I immediately turned and punched him. He dug his fingers into my arm and pulled me into an alley. He pushed me up against a wall. His fingers at my throat. "You need to learn some manners Dollie." I gasped, Dollie was what Kyle used to call me. I heard his chuckling and then his face transformed. Into Kyle, and he was laughing in my face. "You know you want it Riley!" He started kissing my neck. "NO!"

I woke up in my bed with a start. It was just a dream.

"Geez Riley, you look awful." Cali shoved Zay. "Thanks Zay, just what every girl wants to hear." I sighed and grabbed the pole on the subway. "You do look tired." Smackle interjected. Farkle shot her a glare. "I just didn't get much sleep last night okay." I didn't feel like explaining it. None of them would understand, well besides Farkle.

When we got to school, I ignored all the stares and whispers again and went straight to my locker. When a hand appeared beside me I jumped. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I held my head up and looked away. Knowing if I stared too long I could get lost in his eyes. "What do you want." I said shortly. He sighed. "Riley, don't try that 'I'm a bitch that doesn't care about anything' with me." I sighed and turned to him. My glare melted when I saw the worry in his eyes. "I'm worried about you Riley." "Why?" "Because you're not acting the way you usually do." "I've changed. I grew up." "I don't believe that." "Well you should. I'm not the same girl I was two years ago Lucas." "what happened to the Riley I knew?" "She's gone. You don't know me now at all." I slammed my locker loudly and brushed past him. I saw Maya glaring at me but I ignored that too and walked into the bathroom.

I locked myself in a stall and tried to catch my breath. I could feel the tears in my eyes. I have cried more in the past two days than I have probably my whole life. I heard a clutter footsteps so I crouched on the toilet seat. I peaked through he crack in the door and saw hat it was three softmores. "Please, she was flirting with him. Maya said she was practically begging for him for sleep with her." "Please Maya was just jealous of her." I had a feeling I knew who they were talking about and I rolled my eyes. "Really? Riley Matthews? Was begging for sex? I don't believe it." "Well you better. Apparently she's a real bitch now. And did you see the stunt she pulled in the cafeteria? She's just looking for attention." "But from Lucas? She hates him. Hell she went off to London to get away from him and Maya. But why would Maya be jealous, she's been dating him for two years." "Please he doesn't want to date her anymore. Have you ever seen him actually engage in any conversation with her, or post anything about her in the past six months. The only thing was a happy birthday tweet that literally just said 'happy' birthday maya.' In lowercase. Trust me he wants out." "Then why doesn't he break it off?" "I don't know." I shifted my weight and my knee hit the stall door. "Is someone in here?" "Hello?" There were footsteps that walked forward and stopped in front on my stall. I held my breath. "Come one Haley. There's no one in here." The bell rang. "Let's go, we're already late." Once I heard the door slam shut I stepped off the toilet and unlocked the door. I peaked to see if the coast was clear before emerging from the stall.

When I got in the hall, it was deserted. I slowly made my way to the class. When I opened the door I again saw all eyes on me. I completely ignored everyone. The apprehensive look from Lucas, the seductive glances from the meatheads, the glares from Maya's followers, the smirk/glare from Maya, the confused and worried looks from my friends. I simply took my seat and stared blankly at the board. "Where were you?" I ignored Cali. I was counting in my head the number of minutes I had until I could go home. 414 minutes in counting.

 **here another chapter is. You guys should have a pretty good idea on who Kyle is and what he did to Riley. But if you don't, they'll be something in the next chapter. Sorry I didn't update until now. I was lazy and even though I had it written... whatever. I will update the next chapter within the next few days though. FYI who watched 13 reasons why?! It was AMAZING! I binged watched the entire thing on Friday. It's so good! If you haven't seen it go watch it!**

 **Mal**


	9. Chapter 9

I slammed the door when I got home. I was so done. I got glares all day from all the girls in the school. And a few shoves into lockers by a few. I hated that because of one little rumor, I was now hated by the entire school. Well, not the entire school, my friends, although they were curious, were supportive and didn't ask questions. And then there were the meatheads who still tried to get me to hook up with them. And as I turned them down one by one, would transition into hating me along with the rest of the school.

"Hello? Anyone home?" I dropped my bag on the ground. I walked over to the table and saw a note. "Hey Riley, I had to finish a few things up at the office, Auggie is at Doy's and your dad is at the dentist. Dinner is in the fridge. Love mom." I read it out loud to myself. I sighed. I pulled my dinner out, which consists of an assortment of vegetables, grilled chicken, and a dinner roll. My mom was on a new diet and wanted us to be on it too, so we have to eat healthy now. I put it into the microwave for a minute. I sat down at the table and ate. By myself.

I was flipping through the channels on the tv. Not caring that I'd been through them all at least three times. I got a text from Farkle. "We need to talk. Topanga's five minutes." That's all it said. I reluctantly pulled myself off the couch. And dragged myself to my room. I pulled on a pair of running shorts, a lacrosse t shirt from my school in London. I pulled my hair into a ponytail. I then climbed out my window.

I sat down across from Farkle in a booth at Topanga's. "What is it?" "Nice to see you too." He replied sarcastically. A waitress came and set down a strawberry banana smoothie for me and a black coffee for him. "Well sorry but I had a very boring evening planned." "Well I'm sorry that I dragged you from channel surfing and watching old reruns, but you're right. It's kind of important." I gestured for him to go on. "It's about... Kyle." I felt my throat tighten. "What about him?" "Ok... you're going to be mad at me. But just know I did it for you." "What did you do?" "I may have... hacked into the security camera company and stolen a certain video from their file storage." "FARKLE!" "I'm sorry! I had to do something! I have it here..." he pulled out his phone. I smacked it out of his hands. "Riley!" I picked up his phone. I tried to delete it, but he took it and put it in his pocket before I could. "What are you going to do with it?" I asked apprehensively. "I'M not going to anything except send it to you. YOU however are going to make a choice. Whether you will do the right thing and take this video to the police or at least tell someone. Or if you can delete it and live with the secret and let it fester inside of you. But you should know Riley, that no matter when or how, secrets ALWAYS come out." He typed something into him phone and a second later I heard my phone ding. I pulled it out to see that he sent me the video. I swallowed hard, still staring at it. "It's your choice." Then he slid out of the booth. I opened it and immediately hovered my finger over the delete button. But it didn't move. I just stared at the screen, unsure of what to do. Indecisive, I closed out of the video and locked my phone. I dropped it on the table and drank my smoothie. I would decide later what to do.

I was lying in my bed, unable to sleep. I looked over at the clock, 1:01. I sighed and shifted my gaze to my phone which was laying right beside of it. I slowly sat up and grabbed my phone. I opened it and saw the video. I hesitated, then jumped up and locked my bedroom door, just in case. And stuck my headphones in. My finger hovered over the screen for a minute before I pressed play.

There he was. My breath caught in my throat for a minute. The door opened and the music from the party entered the room and so did he. Dragging me behind him. I was half drunk. Exhausted, I stumbled over to the bed. "Careful." I giggled. I pushed his hands off my waist after he caught me. I fell onto the bed. He sat down next to me. He started to kiss my neck. I pushed him off, starting to wake up. He latched his lips back onto my neck. Waking up more, I shoved him off of me. "Get off!" He sat back laughing. "C'mon babe I know you want me." "The only thing I want from you is to go away." He rolled his eyes and he tried to start kissing my neck again. "Stop it! I don't want that!" Tears were gathering in my eyes. "Please, you beg for it." The tears were trickling down my cheeks. "You're lying." "Just admit it. You like playing with guys." I shook my head. The tears were flowing freely now. "You're just like every other slut in school." "Stop!" I slapped him. He started chuckling. "You really should not have done that. I tried to play nice, but you're the one being difficult." He climbed on top of me and was kissing my neck. "No! Stop!" Get off of me!" I was shoving him but it wasn't doing any good. He started to work my top off and all I could do was scream. Which didn't help with the music of the party booming. "It's not what I want! It's not what I want! STOP! NOO!" I couldn't do anything. I felt powerless. "NNNOOOOOOOO!"

I stopped the video there. In the middle of my screams and pleads. I shut my phone off and put it beside my clock again. I laid in bed, thinking. I expected myself to be crying. But I wasn't. I think all my tears were gone. I had none left. Just an empty pool of everything that is wrong with my life. I closed my eyes and breathed. In. And out. In. And out. I opened my eyes and stared at the glow in the dark stars that my dad put on the ceiling when I was seven. It may have just been the fact that I was exhausted and hadn't slept in three days, but I swear that I saw some of the them twinkle.

 **Ok. This is messy, I wrote it in like 20 minutes. I am the worst at promising to update. I know. But this time I promise. I am gonna update a new chapter tomorrow! Tell me what you guys think of the storyline and what is happening. I love to know your guy's opinions. I don't really know what to do after the next chapter, so when I post it, send me your suggestions.**

 **Shoutout to: violet1429**

 **she let me know about a problem that recently surfaced. Maybe you know what it is? Maybe you don't. But I won't let it affect my writing.**

 **xoxo**

 **Mal**


	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys, not an update. Even though I just updated. I just wanted to let you know that I changed one or two parts of the story. In the last chapter. They're very small changes, just changes the setting of something, but it is important for a chapter in the future that you reread it and get that info on where it is. Btw I got inspired and wrote 2 new chapters and counting. So I will definitely update those soon. I'm excited because one of them is a flashback chapter that will inform you more on what happened to Riley and will fill in some gaps. Also I have to apologize, I've been putting a lot of Riarkle in this story. THIS IS NOT A RIARKLE SOTRY! I just wanted to emphasize their friendship. Basically Farkle is Riley's new Maya. Trust me Smackle is the only one for Farkle... even though I slightly ship Riarkle. Don't hate me! But this is a Rucas story. Just wait. The story has to build. Plus I didn't want Riley just to forgive him as soon as she came back. MAKE HIM BEG FOR FORGIVENESS! Okay enough of that, but I WILL be putting more Rucas in soon. Not necessarily in the next few chapters. But soon. Pay attention to smal details. They might turn out to be VERY important.


	11. Chapter 11

I shoved my way through the people in the stands. It was Friday and I was somehow coaxed into going to the first football game of the season by my friends. I was searching the crowd when I saw Cali's turquoise hair stick out in the crowd of orange and black which were our school colors. I hated them. It was like Halloween, but without all the costumes and candy. Still I made my way to them and plopped down beside Cali. "Hey!" She threw her arms around me. I chuckled and hugged her back. "Hey." "You excited?" I rolled my eyes. "I can hardly stay in my seat." She rolled her eyes back at me and chuckled before turning to talk to Zay who was betting the score at the end of the game. I took that opportunity to scan the field. I saw the cheerleaders warming up their tumbling and stunts on the sidelines. And the football team warming up on the field. I leaned my head on my hands and stared at the field. I saw Lucas throwing a ball with one of the other players back and forth. He turned for a second and caught my eye. I sat up and stared him in the eyes for a second before I broke it and looked over at Farkle and Smackle and laughed. "No! That's not correct!" "Sweetheart, which one of us got an A+ in physics?" "Darling, which one of us got an A+ in geometry?" They were arguing about the accuracy of the ball. I glanced back at Lucas and saw him throw the ball hard at the other player. The guy almost didn't catch it and stumbled backwards. My gaze moved to the cheerleaders, more specifically the head cheerleader who was glaring at me. I ignored her and got up. "I'm going to get food." I walked to the concessions stand. "Water Please." The cashier nodded and went to get it from the refrigerator. I saw two guys come up beside me, "what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" I rolled my eyes. "I was going to ask you the same thing." His friend was laughing. The other one continued his attempts. "Look, why don't we get drunk and make some bad decisions?" I grabbed my water from the counter. "You look like you already are and look you just did!" I shoved past

him and his laughing friend and climbed my way back into the bleachers. When I sat down I heard the whistle blow, signaling the start of the game.

I was surrounded by screams of the crowd. My head was pounding from both the cold and all the yelling people have been doing into my ears all night. I don't get what the big deal about football is. It's just a bunch of guys fighting over a ball. What's new? But my friends seemed to enjoy it. Well, Cali and Zay did. In fact, they were the ones who were screaming in my ear. But Farkle and Smackle seemed a little busy discussing the score of the game. I covered my ears as our team scored another touchdown. We were down by five points with one minute left in the game. This is the stereotypical scene in a high school movie where either the team wins the big game or the quarterback gives up the game to get the girl. But I knew the second one would never happen so we're back to square one. I was given no warning when the crowd suddenly screamed. I saw that there was an interception. Lucas was now running high speed towards the goal line as the clock ticked down from ten seconds. Five, four, three. He crossed the goal line with two seconds left on the clock. For once I didn't care about the crowd's screams, I just clapped slowly, not believing what just happened with a small smirk on my face. We heard Billy yell out. "PARTY AT MY HOUSE!" The crowd cheered again. "Ooh Party! We should go!" I froze. "Yeah! No." I said with a straight face. "C'mon Riley it might be fun." Zag chimed in. Even Smackle raised her eyebrows at me. "Do you really want to go your whole high school experience never going to a party?" "I've been to plenty of parties!" Cali looked at me in disbelief. "In America?" I hesitated. Cali linked her arm through mine. "Yeah you're coming. And don't try to argue." Farkle glanced at me with a worried face and I shook my head.

Yup. This was a party. I could hear the music from down the block and walking up the steps I could already smell the alcohol and smoke coming from inside. "Here we go." I took a deep breath and opened the door. Red solo cups littered the floor, and someone doing a keg stand. When he got down everyone cheered. I spotted the gang and squeezed through the crowd to get to them. "Heeeeyyyyy Rilllleeeyyy!" Cali draped herself on me. She was already drunk. "Hey Cali. Enjoying yourself?" I said amused. She nodded and took another sip out of her cup. "Come on Riley! You gotta catch up!" She pushed me towards the keg. There was no way I was going to drink, but everyone would be suspicious if I didn't get a drink. That's a high school party for you. So I waltzed over to the keg and grabbed a cup. I walked back over to the group. Cali was dancing wildly by herself, Zay was getting his money from the bet on the game, and Farkle and Smackle were... busy. Let's just say that. I looked around the party. I saw plenty of guys and girls grinding on each other, some were running to the trash cans to throw up. "Rileeeeeyyy! Why aren't you drinking?" Cali danced her way over to me. "Not thirsty." "Oh come on!" She lifted the cup to my lips. I pretended to take a sip and she seemed satisfied so she went on her way, dancing again.

I continued to take "sips" for a little while until I turned around and slammed into someone, spilling the drink all over the floor. "Watch it!" I exclaimed. looked up to see Lucas. "Watch where your going next time!" I hissed at him. I tried to walk away when he grabbed my arm and turned me back around. He looked confused. "You're the one who ran into me, and how is your drink that full? I saw you drinking it all night?" I glared at him and slammed my cup down on the counter near me and made my way to the kitchen. I grabbed another solo cup, but instead I filled it up with water. I heard my phone buzz so I set the cup down on the counter next to a bunch of drunk guys. One including the one who hit on me at the game earlier. He eyed me, but didn't say anything. "Rilllleeeeyyy! Wheeerree are youuu?" It was a drunk text from Cali. I shook my head and put my phone back in my pocket while picking up my cup. I brought it to my lips and took a sip.

About thirty minutes later I found myself feeing really tired. My water was long gone and I spent the last thirty minutes dancing with Cali. "Hey, we didn't officially meet earlier, I'm Myles." It was the guy that hit on me earlier. "I'm-" I covered my mouth and sprinted to the trash can where I puked up my guts. Myles came over and stood by me. Once I stopped, I wiped my mouth. I tried to stand up, but I fell over. Myles caught me and picked me up bridal style in his arms. "Yeah, we need to get you to bed." I was too tired to protest. He carried me upstairs.

He set me down on the bed. He was talking to me, but I couldn't hear him. I couldn't move my body at all. I was so confused. What was happening to me?i felt my eyes start to close. He leaned down and started to slide down my skirt. I tried to scream but I couldn't. I couldn't move or talk. I could feel myself start to drift off. He was unbuttoning my top when the door slammed open. The last thing I saw was a dark figure yank Myles off me. Then I drifted off to sleep.

 **This is may have gotten a little confusing, but I have about 5 more chapters ready to post. I will be posting another chapter later today, just to make up for this cliffhanger. I have an entire Rucas chapter in the near future so get excited! I will probably update around 4 or 5**


	12. Chapter 12

Song for this chapter: Billie Eilish- Six Feet Under (play when she goes out on the balcony)

I heard running water and voices. "What happened?" "I don't know, I just got a text saying to come in here. When I got here, she was laying on the bed without her skirt, and nobody was in sight. But the room was a mess." "Do you think..." "no, all of her other clothes were still on, someone must've gotten here before me." "Who?" I groaned and opened my eyes. I saw two blurry figures. "Riley..." I tried to sit up, but the blurry figure that was kneeling to my right pushed me back down. "Hold on Riles. Farkle get Cali in here. We need to get her in the bath." The other blurry person walked out of the room. I saw a blur of turquoise enter on a blob. The two blurs were kneeling beside me and discussing what happened. My eyes were finally starting to adjust. I saw that it was Cali and Smackle. "C'mon Riles." They pulled me up. They took off my clothes and helped me into the tub that was filled with boiling hot water. I yelped at the temperature. "Too hot.." was all I could muster out. But I didn't protest anymore. I just let the hot water wash over my body. And I felt my eyelids start to close again.

The next time I woke up I was in the backseat of a car. I could hear the faint music in the front. I looked up to see Farkle driving, Zay in the passenger seat. And Cali and Smackle in the back with me. Cali noticed I was awake and gave me a faint smile. I saw that she had tears on her cheeks. But I didn't mention it. I looked out the window at all the lights. I heard them talking up front. "Where are we going Farkle?" "My house." "Why aren't we taking her home?" "Are you kidding? What do you think her parents would do if they found out she was drugged and raped?" "Almost raped." For a second I thought that he would tell them. But luckily, he waved it off. "Yeah yeah." I tried to lift my head up, but I got an instant head ache so I laid it back on the window. I started to drift off again while watching the lights zoom by the window.

I woke up and saw that I was in a bed. But it wasn't my bed. I realized that it was Farkle's and calmed down. I looked and saw that they were all here. Cali was lying next to me, Farkle and Zay were on the pullout couch, and Smackle was on the extra twin bed. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was after 2 am. I was really thirsty, so I slipped out of the bed and tiptoed down the hall to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and got a bottle of water. While drinking it, I went out on the balcony. I leaned on the railing and stared at the city and the lights, then I glanced up to the sky. It was completely covered in smog and I couldn't see the stars. Which was disappointing. I tried to piece together the night. I recalled the person who yanked the boy, Myles I think it was, off of me. I didn't see his face, I didn't know how or why, but somehow I knew that I knew him. I was trying to think about who it was, when a figure appeared beside me, leaning on the railing. I glanced over to see Farkle beside me. I gave him a faint smile and turned my attention back to the city. "How are you holding up?" I sighed and turned back to him. "I'm just trying to process it all. I can't even remember half of it." He nodded and looked back over the edge. "By the way, thanks for not telling them." He didn't look my way. "I made a promise." "I know that this is hard on you... but you have to understand why I don't want to tell anyone" I went over and sat on one of he chair, he sat in he other. "The day after... you know... he..." I looked over and saw that he was listening intently. "He treated it, like it never happened. I saw him in the halls, and he would just look at me, he never talked to me. He would just stare at me, with a triumphant smirk. Every time I saw him... I was going to tell my parents when my mom got a new case... it was a rape case. She was defending the defendant. She was arguing that a 14 year old girl, made up the story about a senior raping her for attention. And do you know what happened? He got off... they didn't believe her. Well I checked up on her case a few months later and... she killed her self. Not only because he raped her and got off with no scratches, but because of all the bullying and the teasing that happened after it. There's also the fact that the boy who did it. Kept on raping her. It was like a cycle. Until one day, she couldn't handle it anymore..." I looked over at him again and saw that a few tears had escaped. "I don't want that to be me... that can't be me..." he hugged me. "I'm so sorry Riles. I didn't know." He let go, but kept him arm around my shoulders. I put my head on his shoulder. We stayed that way for a while. I was staring up at all he smog and I noticed something. A small star peaked out through all the pollution. And let me tell you. I've never seen a star shine so bright.

 **Here, as I promised, it's the next chapter. I'm planning on updating tomorrow too. Hope you liked it. Who do you think saved Riley? Do you have a guess?**


	13. Chapter 13

Song for this chapter : Girls just wanna have fun- Norman Palm. (Play it when the chapter starts)

Flashback*

I laid there in the bed. Awake. I glanced and saw Kyle lying next to me, sound asleep. It was 3 clock in the morning. I had tears silently rolling down my cheeks. I slowly sat up, shakily found my underwear and put it on, next I found my skirt and shirt. I collected my shoes and held them in my hands. I didn't even bother to tuck in half of my shirt, it just hung out of my skirt. I walked to the door and stopped. I turned and looked at the bed and him. Just lying there. I felt a fresh wave of tears coming on and I quickly opened the door and shut it. I pressed my forehead against the door, tears dropping onto the floor. I walked down the stairs.

The house was abandoned after the party so I didn't see a soul. I stepped outside. I glanced around me and back at the door. Then slowly walked down the stairs from the porch. I didn't call for a cab, I just walked home.

I was walking down the hall to my room, when I heard my mom shift in her room. "Riley? Is that you?" I started to my room when I stopped and looked back at the door. I breathed in heavily and walked over to the door and put my hand on the handle before shaking my head and walking to my room. I shut the door and leaned my back against it. I walked over and sat down on the floor with my back up against the side of my bed. After a few minutes of staring at the ground with crying and chewing on my fingernails, I grabbed my phone which was on top of the bed. I opened up my text messages and went to Kyle's. I started typing. 'Hey, are you awake?' But I just shook my head and erased it. I threw it on my carpet. I grabbed my laptop off my night stand and opened up google. 'How do I know if I've been raped?' More tears fell down as I erased that too. I then typed. 'Someone had sex with me and I didn't want to' I hit enter before I could stop myself. I breathed shakily as I read the results. They all said something involving sexual assault. I quickly closed out of the window and shut the lid. I put it down on the floor and went to the bathroom.

I turned on the shower water and turned the handle to the hottest temperature. I stood there in my towel for a few minutes. Staring at the water raining down. I hesitantly reached and shut off the water. I went to the mirror and wiped off the fog that had gathered from the shower's steam. I stared at my reflection. I had tear tracks on my cheeks and mascara gathered under my eye and on my cheeks as well. I sighed and turned on the water. I splashed my face and wiped off the mascara. I then looked at myself again. I knew what I had to do...

I walked into the hospital with my hoodie on, and a plastic bag in my hand. It held my clothes from earlier in it. There was a faint light, because the sun was just coming up. It was around 5 in the morning so it was pretty much deserted. I walked to the front desk and rang the bell. "One minute!" I heard the lady shout from the back. When she came back she looked at me with a blank face. I took a deep breath. "Um... I was assaulted and I need a rape kit?" She nodded solemnly. She went around the corner and held the door open for me. Then I followed her into a room. She asked me to remove all my clothes. I did as she asked. While I was doing that, she laid down a sheet of white paper. I felt extremely awkward just standing there naked. She then told me to go and stand on the paper. I did so while she took my clothes out of the room for examination. A few doctors came in, one had a camera. The one with the camera started to photograph my body. "What's that for?" I asked softly. No one could hear me over the discussion in the room. "What's that for?" I spoke loudly, almost yelling. Everyone turned to look at me. They all had sympathetic faces. I shifted, feeling uncomfortable. "It's for evidence of bruises honey." One of the doctors answered and just like that, they all turned back and started talking again. "Oh" I said softly. I blinked, being blinded by another flash.

It took 5 hours for the doctors to complete the exam... 5 long hours. 5 hours of being poked and prodded with multiple instruments. I was now sitting on the side of a hospital bed. Waiting for the doctor to come in. The door opened, but I didn't look up. I just kept chewing on my lip, staring at the floor with big eyes, not blinking. Footsteps came closer. Someone sat on the bed. They laid their hand on my back and even though I knew they were there, I flinched and was startled. I breathed heavily. "I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Rotheman." I nodded and glanced down at the floor. "Are you okay?" I sighed "I'm not sure anymore..." my gaze stayed glued on the floor. She held a packet out for me. "This has all the information you need, where to report it. And where to take it when you go to the police." My gaze shot up, alarmed. "No! I mean no. I don't want to do that..." I chewed on my bottom lip and shifted my gaze to the floor again. "Okay Honey, everything that happens now is completely up to you. But... I do think that you should take this to the police. They can help you." I shook my head. A tear fell from my cheek. "Thank you for your time doctor." I stood up and ran out of the room. I raced down the hallways and out the door. I collapsed, sobbing on the pavement as soon as I got out. I got a few stares, but no one tried to help. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stop crying. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn't stop... just when I felt like I was going to pass out, I saw an ant on the pavement. He was carrying a stick that was way to big for him. It looked like he was going to collapse from the weight. There was a group of ants a few feet from him, but none of them helped him. I stared at the ant and pitied him. My breathing slowed and I soon felt my heart beat slow and slowly, the tears did too. I gathered my stuff off the pavement and walked away. I thought to myself as I walked. About what happened, about the doctors' pitiful looks and remarks, about the people staring at me as I collapsed from the pain, and about the ant. No one could help me now. And no one wanted to anyways.

That was my first panic attack... one out of many.

I got a few more throughout the weeks. Every time I had one, I called Farkle. He called me the day after the... incident, telling me everything. I freaked out, but I was secretly happy that someone knew so I could talk to them. Through every one he talked me through them. I also called him when I was feeling sad or lonely or scared. He would try to convince me to tell someone, and I was planning on it. When the thing with the case happened. I changed my mind and kept the whole thing a secret. With an exception of Farkle. I knew I couldn't tell anyone else. They would never listen to me. They never listen to anyone in these situations, they always blame the victim. "You were drunk." "You made out with him first." "Did you see what you were wearing." "You were dating him." "You were asking for it." No one would ever understand. So I had to keep this inside of me. I would go to my grave with this secret. Even if it killed me.

 **Ok I am literally the worst person at updating! I know! Don't hate me! I'm not even going to promise to update soon because when I saw that I never do so... but keep an eye out *hint hint***

 **Xoxo**

 **Mal**


	14. Chapter 14

Song for this chapter: Feist- Fire in the water (play it when she is running through the hallway)

Two weeks later

We were all sitting at the lunch table, in silence. No one knew what to say. So we didn't say anything. The worst part was the way everyone was treating me. It was like the whole school knew about it. And everyone was treating me like a pane of glass about to shatter. What they didn't know was that the glass was shattered a long time ago. There were the few (the Wicked Witches henchmen) that treated it as my fault. But even the Witch herself seemed to take a break from the remarks. One day I even caught her gaze and she gave me a sad look. Just like everyone else, pitying me. I heard that she and Lucas broke it off after the party. So that made it worse that even she felt bad for me. But everything got worse when Myles came back to school.

I was at my locker, gathering my books. I heard a scream. I jumped and looked behind me to see one of the cheerleaders being stuffed into the chest of a sweaty football player after their morning practice. I shook my head. That's when I caught his gaze. He was leaning against the lockers, just staring. I blinked and stared back. Our eyes communicating more than we had with words in the past two years. But the connection was broken when the front doors slammed open and I startlingly turned to the front hallway. My jaw dropped open. There was Myles... Well sorta. His arm was in a sling, he had a boot on his foot and a black eye. Not to mention the rest of his face which was beaten too. Everyone was staring as he limped down the hallway until he caught my gaze. He looked into my eyes for a second before his eyes flickered to something else and suddenly he averted his gaze to the ground out of fear. He limped down the hallway faster, until he was out of sight. Now everyone turned to look at me. However I was too busy staring at the lockers on the other side of the hall, breathing heavily. No one was moving. I once again caught Lucas' eye and he stared back at me. He raised his eyebrows and smirked slightly. He tilted his head down like he was tipping a hat and shut his locker. Strolling down the hallway, whistling slightly. Everyone had unfrozen as soon as Lucas slammed his locker. I however stood like a statue, still staring at the spot where Lucas had just been standing a second ago. When the bell rang, I finally pulled myself out of the trance. I put my bag and books in my locker, I kept my red raincoat on and slowly shut it. I started to walk to class when I abruptly spun around and started walking in the other direction. Then that walk turned into a slow jog, then the jog turned into a run, and that became a sprint as I burst through the front doors. It was pouring outside and it immediately soaked my body, despite my raincoat. I ran down the stairs and down the street. I soon got tired and came to a stop by a deli stand. I leaned against the brick wall, catching my breath. I heard a cluster of footsteps and I looked up to see Lucas. "Riley!" I stood up and faced him. "Why." I stated, staring at him. "I think you know why." I shook my head and turned, running down the street. I knew that he was running after me. "Riley please! Listen to me!" I turned around. "Why now! Why do this now?!" "I don't know." "God! You are so frustrating! You don't talk to me for weeks and you save me once and you think that you can just waltz back here and-" I turned to walk away in the middle of my rant, but he caught my arm and spun me back into his arms. We stared at each other for a moment before he kissed me. It was the kind of kiss that only happened in movies. Where time seemed to stop and nothing was wrong in the world. Where you can communicate three years worth of love, angst, and sadness into it. Our lips moved in sync and I never wanted the moment to end. But soon, everything bad with my life crept into my thoughts. I pulled away from the kiss abruptly. I shook my head and stared at him. "I can't do this." Riley..." he reached for my hand but I pulled it away. "Just... leave me alone. Okay. For good." I turned down the street and ran. I ran harder than I've ever in my whole life. Even though I knew he wouldn't run after me this time. I turned the street corner and ran into the wall. It was then that I realized that I was crying, sobbing in fact. I pulled myself off the wall and started walking. I couldn't get him involved with this mess. I couldn't pull him back into my life. It would ruin him. I couldn't do that to him.

 **This chapter might seem a little rushed and to be honest I threw it together in like 10 minutes. I wanted something to happen to move the story along and I felt like it was going too slow. But trust me, the next chapter will be very interesting *evil laugh* I'm just kidding... maybe**

 **Mal**


	15. AN

**Not a new chapter I just wanted to tell you that I've come up with a solution for my awful updating skills. Ironic I know. But I decided that if I set a certain day to update every week then I will be more compelled to do it, so that is what I'm doing. I will be updating every Saturday starting this week. Who knows, summer is coming up so I will have more time to write so it might be more. Give me some suggestions on what you want to see happen.**


	16. Chapter 15

I was standing at the counter while stuffing a fork into a chocolate cake. The whole cake. Frozen was playing on the tv, and I engrossed in it. Even though my face was covered in chocolate frosting. I heard footsteps and expected my mom because my dad was still at school for another four hours. But instead I saw that it was my friends. I hardly glanced up from the tv as I stuck a forkful of cake into my mouth. "Come on Riley, put down the cake. You have too much to live for." Cali approached me, jokingly. I stared at her. "Like what?" I mumbled through the cake. "Liiikeee... Dylan O'Brien, and season 2 of Stranger things, annnnddd Homecoming. Which by the way is next week, so I'm thinking we-" I swallow my cake and cut her off. "Un-uh! No way! I am NOT going to homecoming!" I shook my head and carried my cake over to the couch. "What? Why not?" She whined. "C'mon Riley, we're all going." Smackle sat down beside me. "Yeah, even I got roped into going." Zay stated as he sat down on the arm of the chair. "How did that happen?" "I asked him." Cali stated sitting on my other side. "You two?" They glanced at each other. "No way! Since when?!" I laughed. "A few months ago." "I'm so happy for you guys!" I hugged Cali. She laughed. "Okay, anyways. Back to the point. You are going to Homecoming. End of story!" "But!" She cut me off. "Nope it's been decided." "By who?" "Me aka your fairy god mother!" I laughed. "Cali. Those don't exist. And even if they did, you're not my fairy god mother." "You know what I mean, I'm the one in charge of getting you in a dress and to the ball Cinderelly!" She stood up and started dancing around me while pointing at me yelling 'Bibbity Boppity Boo' We all stared at her and burst out laughing. "Ok fine I'll go! Just stop doing that!" She frowned and sat back down. "So what are we watching?" "Frozen, aka the only princess movie where the guy doesn't save the girl. You know all those other movies are so sexist! Those girls could've made it on their own without kissing some stupid guy to save her. I think the whole idea of a kiss is misconception. I mean kissing somebody doesn't fix all the problems in your life. And these girls just go and stick their lips on some random guy's who probably can't even spell the word misconception-" "woah Riley, slow down." "Sorry." Cali looked at me questioningly. "Hey Riley. Come with me to the kitchen." "But I love this part!" She grabbed my arm and drug me to the counter. "Who, when, where, how?" "What?" "Exactly!" I put my hands on her shoulders. "Cali you're not making any sense! Breathe!" She took a few breaths. "Ok?" She nodded. I took my hands off her shoulders. "Now. Talk." She nodded again. "Who kissed you?" My eyes got wide. "W-what? N-no-nobody? Wha- What are you talking about?" She gave me a knowing look. "Riley, you are an awful liar" she laughed. "Now spill!" "Ze ze zeze" I mumbled through my teeth. "What?" "Zit zwas zucas" "Riley!" We got shushed by the group on the couch. I took a deep breath. "It was Lucas" Her eyes got huge and her mouth dropped open. "What?! The flying monkey?!" I rolled my eyes "He has a name!" "Yeah I know it and you know it too because you moved 3,000 miles to get away from that name." "I know! And it didn't change anything because it didn't mean anything." She nodded. "It better not!" Maybe I am a good liar. "So... how was it?" She smiled at me. I rolled my eyes and laughed. "C'mon. I'm missing Olaf." I walked back to the couch. "But... Riley!" "SHHHH!" We all shushed her. And she plopped down next to me. "Fine" she said mimicking us.

A few days later I was standing in Macy's along with Cali and Smackle, rooting through all the dresses. I sighed as I pushed past the last one on the cart. "C'mon Riley, you promised." Cali called from down the row. "I know! I just can't find anything." Smackle emerged from the dressing room in a deep red flared dress. "That looks amazing!" "You have to get it!" "I am! I love this dress!" A few minutes later, Cali found a silver sequin chain choker mini dress. And it was only me left without a dress. I sighed. "It's hopeless!" "There must be something-" Cali stopped in her sentence, staring at something. "That is your dress!" I turned around. I saw a black, scalloped lace, bodycon dress. "That is my dress." I stated.

I looked in the mirror that night. I was wearing my dress. I smiled, I'm glad that Cali convinced me to go to the dance. Even though it wasn't for a few days. I knew that we were going to have a good time, even if I would be a fifth wheel. I decided not to have a date. Not that anyone would ask me after the Myles incident. But with everything with Lucas, and Kyle. I didn't think it felt right. I slid off the dress and hung it up on the hanger. I changed into my pajamas, which was basically just an oversized shirt and spandex. I climbed into my bed and for the first night in a few weeks, I fell asleep easily and with a smile on my face.

First Saturday schedule post. I will update every week on Saturday. Keep an eye out because everything may seem all happy but it's about to flip.


	17. Chapter 16

It was two days before the dance. Aka the day my parents unknowingly ruined my life. In their defense, they thought they were doing me a favor. But little did they know that their "surprise" gave me nightmares every night for the past year.

"We have a surprise for you." I glanced at them. "What is it?" "Well we know how you've been bummed about not having a date to the homecoming dance." "No I haven't-" "Well, we pulled a few strings and got you a date!" My mom squealed excitingly. "Mom, please tell me it's not creepy cousin Pete!" "No! Of course not!" Someone buzzed the door and my dad went over and let them in. "I'm confused..." "just wait!" a minute later we heard a knock on the door. My mom rushed over to the door and I laughed at how excited she was. My smile faded immediately as they opened the door however. My stomach dropped down to my feet as I heard his voice. "Hey Gorgeous. Miss me?"

I excused myself after saying hello and ran to my room. I was now tearing my room apart looking for my phone. I found it and dialed Farkle's number. He answered on the second ring. "Farkle!" "Riley, I'm kind of busy-" "He's here!" "Who are you talking about Riley?" "Kyle!" I heard rustling and him excuse himself. "What? How?" "My parents brought him over to be my date for homecoming!" I ran my hand through my hair. "Okay, calm down. I'm on my way. I heard a car honk in the background. "I'll be there in five minutes." "Hurry!" I ended the call and paced around my room. Two minutes later I heard a knock on my window. "Farkle, thank god!" I went over and opened the window. "Not Farkle, Cali. Woah! What happened to your room. Scratch that, what happened to you?" I shook my head and I heard a knock on my door. Kyle opened the door and Cali stared at him. "Um Riley, your mom wants you back in the living room." He noticed Cali staring at him and he shifted uncomfortably. "You"re Kyle?" He nodded. "Let's get this straight okay, if you ever hurt my best friend again, you're a dead man!" He got bug eyes. "Uh, what are you talking about?" Cali got a 'duh' look on her face. "When you broke up with her! It really messed her up." "Okay Cali! Why don't you and Kyle go to the living room, I'll be there in a minute. I have to change." I pushed them out the door and leaned against the door, closing my eyes. Someone knocked on the window and I saw Farkle. "Took you long enough!" "Sorry, what happened?" "Well Cali showed up and told Kyle that if he ever hurt me again she'd kill him, then he got nervous cause he thought she knew, but then she said something about him breaking up with me. So I think she cleared that up." "No I mean what happened with YOU? Are you okay? Did you have another panic attack?" I shook my head. "I'm scared Farkle." I hugged him tight. "Don't worry Riles, you'll get through this. He won't hurt you again. I promise."

We all sat in the living room, not talking. It was getting more and more awkward, if that's even possible. Until Cali spoke and I realized that it could get more awkward. "So... why did you guys break up?" Everyone's gazes snapped to her and she shrank back. "Sorry, just needed an ice breaker." Kyle, being well Kyle, laughed it off. "No it's fine. Ask Riley, she's the one who broke it off. I was pretty beat up about it. She didn't really tell me why she did it." I glanced at him. Farkle scoffed. "You were beat up... didn't tell you why... asshole..." He muttered only loud enough for me to hear. I kicked his leg and he shut up. "Umm yeah, I just didn't feel like it was a good time for a relationship. You know I'd just moved there a year ago and was moving back in a year." That seemed to make sense to everyone so we slipped back into the silence. I stood up. "I'm going to get a drink, anyone want anything?" Everyone shook their heads. Except for Kyle, he stood up too. "I'll come too." I saw Farkle start to stand up, but I shook my head at him and he sunk into his seat. I opened the fridge. "Apple or Orange?" "Apple." I pulled out the apple juice and a glass. I poured him a cup and pushed it toward him. He grabbed my hand. I flinched, but didn't pull away. He leaned in and whispered to me. "Look, I know that things were bad between us. Especially after you freaked out because we had sex. But I want to start over." I smiled and nodded. "Ok, I'm gonna go to the bathroom." He nodded and took a sip of his juice.

I got into the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub. 'Freaked out' 'had sex' I felt the tears on my cheeks. He raped me. Didn't he? He was the bad guy, not me. Wasn't he? I stood up and paced. I pushed my hands across my temples and down my hair, messing it up. I breathed slowly and went to the mirror. I wiped my eyes, straightened my shirt, and fixed my hair. I practiced my smile. When I convinced myself that I was fine, I walked back into the living room. They were going through some old photo album. Farkle, however was on his phone, staying as far away from Kyle as possible. He looked up at me, and I smiled the smile that I practiced in the mirror. He stared at me and looked back down at his phone. I sat down and thought that I'd gotten away with it. Until my phone dinged. I glanced at the screen. It was a text from Farkle. 'When he leaves, Bay Window.' I looked up to see him staring at me. I closed my phone and ignored his gaze while staring at the floor. I've heard it said that things can't be all good or all bad, things can't stay in the middle either. The scale has to tip one was or the other. Right now the scale was tipped down to bad. And now I'm not sure if that's true. Cause now I'm not sure if there will ever be a good side of the scale again.


	18. Chapter 17

It was the day of the dance and I was standing in my towel while shaking my hair out in my room. I took a scalding hot shower to try and steam away my nerves, but it didn't work. I was shaking. Kyle and I had barely spoken a word since he got here. I didn't plan on trying to anytime soon either, but he had other ideas... *knock knock* "one second!" Figuring it was my mom I went and opened the door. I then shut it so that he could only see my head, cause the rest of my body was only covered in a towel. "Hey, sorry I just wanted to talk to you really quick..." I nodded and adjusted my hold on the towel. "I just don't want things to be awkward tonight. I know things have been tense ever since we had... sex" he whispered the other word. I tensed up when he said it though. Did he not know what he did to me? "but I really don't feel like we made a mistake. Even though we were both drunk, we still loved each other. Then I kind of freaked out after and didn't talk to you. I just wanted to make sure that you don't think I'm some jerk who sleeps with girls and dumps them." I painfully nodded. "I hope things continue to go up." He smiled at me and then went down the hall. I slowly shut the door and for extra measure I locked it. I breathed out shakily, leaning up against the door. I felt tears slide down my cheeks. I covered my mouth with my hand to try and stop the sobs, but they just kept coming. How could he not remember what he did to me? The door knob shook. And I then I heard knocking. "Riley? I just wanted to make sure you were getting ready, you have to leave in an hour." I tried stifled my tears and breathed out heavily. "Yeah I'll be ready in a little bit." My voice cracked. "Honey are you okay?" I opened my mouth and felt like pouring out everything... but I did what I always did. "Yeah I'm fine, my head has just been hurting me. Can you get me some aspirin?" "Sure honey." I was gonna need it...

An hour later I stood in front of the mirror while smoothing my dress. I was wearing an 'Off Shoulder Mini Bodycon Dress in Scalloped Lace' my hair was twisted up into an elaborate bun. There was a knock on my door and my mom came in a second later. "Oh sweetie! You look beautiful!" "Think dad will let me out of the house?" She laughed. "Not unless you grab a coat." I grabbed my black pea coat off the hanger and my black pep toe heels from my bed. I slipped both on and then passed my mom through the door. Coming up with various scenarios of what was gonna happen.

We walked into the gym and I immediately started to regret my choice to come tonight. Not that I had a choice. I spotted my friends and walked over to them, not even bothering to cue in Kyle. Unfortunately they all immediately noticed Kyle hanging by my side so I had to introduce him. "Guys this is Kyle, my... friend..." I saw Farkle give me a hard stare and he mouthed 'talk later'

I glanced away at the floor. All my friends shook hands with Kyle. "Remember what I said Casanova!" Cali said when she got to him. Then she made a motion like she was breaking something in half. His eyes widened and he vehemently nodded. She laughed. "I'm totally kidding!" He chuckled nervously and shook her hand, but she gripped it tight and pulled him closer. "I'm not kidding. I will break you." She let go and walked back to Zay. He turned to Farkle who just gave him a cold stare and a head nod. A weird look flashed across Kyle's face, but what ever it was disappeared quick and he casually slung his arm over my shoulder. I flinched but didn't move. Cali noticed and gave me a look. But I ignored it.

While my friends were making small talk with Kyle (with the exception of Farkle) I was observing the room. I felt eyes on me and I turned to see the whole clique looking at Kyle and me. Lucas, Maya, the jocks, and Maya's posse. I shifted uncomfortably and shrugged out from under his arm. "I'm gonna go get some punch." "I'll get it." Kyle said but I shut him down. "No it's fine." I quickly walked towards the table and ignored the audience watching. Dave came up next to me and smiled, while trying to pick out his food. "Hey Riley." "Hi Dave." "You having fun?" I scoffed. "Not really." "Yeah, not exactly the best experience I've had either." He looked around and pulled something out of his jacket pocket. "Want something to take the edge off?" He held up a flask. I shook my head. "No thanks." He shrugged "Suit yourself." He took a swig. I turned around to see that Farkle had started to stare at me too along with the clique. I shook my head. "Screw it." I grabbed it from his hand and took a long sip. I coughed and handed it back to him. "Geez Riley! You trying to get a hangover?" I ignored him and took another sip. I handed it to him and he took another sip. "Well, here's to good times." I scoffed. I grabbed a cup, dumped out most of the contents, took the flask and tipped half of it in the cup. Almost filling it to the brim. "Yup, best times of our life." I said sarcastically before taking another sip. "Thanks for that." I was already starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. He nodded and eyed me strangely, then he turned and walked away. I turned around and saw that I still had people staring at me. Especially Lucas, who was looking at me like I had six heads. I looked him right in the eye and raised my eyebrows before lifting the cup and chugging the rest of the drink. I then dropped the plastic cup on the ground and walked out of the gym.


	19. Chapter 18

Song- Florence the Machine: Shake it out Accoustic version (start it when she gets to Farkle's)

Everything was spinning as the alcohol took its full affect on me. I tripped over my feet every other step. I could hear someone faintly calling my name, but it was mostly drowned out by the music. I kept on going until I got to the next hallway. Then I stopped and leaned against the lockers, I felt like I was going to puke. I heard footsteps and I closed my eyes. "Riley?" As soon as I heard that voice my eyes shot open. I saw him coming around the corner and I shot off the lockers. He stepped closer and I took a step back. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. When I felt his hand on my arm I opened my eyes and slapped it off. "Don't touch me." "Hey c'mon Riles. Don't be like that." I was shaking as I took another step back. I shook my head at him. "Stay away from me." He chuckled. "Seriously Riley? You're so immature. Is this about earlier?" I turned my head to look at the lockers. "Look I thought we went over this. I apologized, we had sex big deal." My head snapped back, I felt anger overtake my body. I clenched my fists. "Besides you wanted it." That did it. I took him and shoved him against the lockers hard. His eyes were wide. Now I was shaking from anger. I took another wobbly breath. "I did not want it! You raped me." I spoke slow, but firm. He looked shocked. I let go of him. "Riley, come on. Do you really think that I-" I slapped him. He turned back chuckling and he had a sick grin on his face. It was the same grin he had on that night. Next thing I knew he was grasping my forearms. Clenching them in his hands. I gasped in pain. "I tried to play nice Riley. But seems you want to be difficult. Just like that night. You know if you said yes more maybe you wouldn't be in these situations." Tears were falling down my cheeks and I yanked and pulled, trying to get away from him. But he only gripped harder, pushing hard into my skin. I winced in pain. "Listen. Telling someone will only make me angry, and you don't want to see me angry." His fingernails pierced my skin, and they drew blood. I opened my mouth and let out a tiny scream of pain. "If you tell anyone... trust me. It'll be a lot worse than that night-" He was suddenly yanked off of me and thrown into the lockers. My mouth fell open as I watched Farkle punch him. I had never seen him this way. It was only like Texas Lucas, but with Farkle he could control it. He stopped after a minute of consecutive punches and grabbed his shirt. "Listen you asshole. If you touch her ever again. I will kill you. Because I know what you did to her..." he looked at him on the ground "You're a dick." He punched him again. He let go and he fell onto the floor. He kicked him. Then he crouched down. "Man, you sure picked the wrong girl to rape. Don't even bother stepping foot in her house again, you hear me?" Then he turned and saw me. His angry gaze softened. "C'mon." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and guided me out of the school. Wobbling all the way there. I guess I was still drunk. He held my shoulders and balanced me at the bottom of the stairs. I started breathing heavily, he wrapped his arms around me. "Shh. It's okay Riley." I pulled back with tears in my eyes. He looked at me with a sad gaze and wiped my tears. "You can stay at my house tonight. You're not in any state to go home." I nodded and he put his arm back around my shoulders.

We walked into the apartment and I went to sit down on the couch. I was in shock, everything from tonight was playing in my head. I could feel something rising up in my throat. I pushed it down as Farkle sat next to me. "What happened tonight?" He asked me? My eyes filled with tears as I turned my head to him. I didn't need to say anything, he put his arm around me and I put my head in his shoulder. We just sat there for a while. Not saying anything. Just being there, I was happy he was here.

I opened the door and saw my mom laying on the couch watching a movie. "Hey sweetie? How was the dance?" When she looked over and saw my face, she immediately paused the movie and rushed over to me. "Honey, what happened?" A few tears leaked out as she cupped my face, trying to find the source of my tears. Farkle was right... this secret was tearing me apart. I had to tell someone. More tears were coming down now as I lifted my eyes to meet hers. "Mommy. I have something to tell you."

Sorry for the cliffhanger. This chapter will pick up either the next morning after their talk. Or a week or so after. I didn't know how to make this conversation go so... this might've been boring but there are interesting things to come in the next chapter.


	20. Chapter 19

One week later

I kissed my mom goodbye and ran out the door. Farkle was waiting on my steps per the usual. He looked at me then his watch. "You're late." He said standing up. I grabbed his arm and dragged him down the street running. "I know!" He had been insisting upon coming to school with me every morning. I think he thinks Kyle may come after me or something. But I hadn't seen him since the dance. After I told my mom, she called him and told him she'd drop his bags off at JFK and told him to get the hell out of the country. Farkle is glad that I told her, he thinks that it took some weight off of my conscience. None of my other friends know yet, but I know I have to tell them soon. We ran through the hallway and into my dad's class. I stopped in the doorway while Farkle walked to his seat. I stared at my dad in his desk. My mom talked to him the next day and told him, she knew that I wouldn't be able to. Now he hasn't known how to act around me. He hasn't said a word to me in a week other than "Dinner" but that was directed to me and Auggie. Other than the silence, he just gives me the same look. It's a mix between pity, anger, and sadness. Mostly sadness. He looked over at me in the doorway. There was the look again. I sighed heavily and walked to my seat. I slumped down and opened a book. It was The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was my new favorite. I've read it at least ten times and I've high lighted and marked up quotes that I liked. "Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve." That was my favorite line. I read a few more pages because we had a few minutes before class started and the announcements came on. Suddenly the door flew open and in came a soaking wet Maya. She looked like she'd seen a ghost. She'd been acting weird too, but I hadn't figured out why. But she seemed different today, she seemed scared. She skimmed the room until her eyes landed on me. She practically ran over to my desk. Her eyes brimmed with tears just looking at me. "Riley, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." She whispered as tears began to fall. I was confused as ever. Just staring at her, shocked and wondering why she was acting so erratic? "I tried to stop it, I did." My eyebrows furrowed. "Maya what are you talking about?" She looked at me, her eyes full of regret. Then the bell rang and he announcements came on. "I'm so sorry..." my dad stood up. "Maya please take your seat." She didn't move. "Maya!" "No!" My dad looked shocked, as did the rest of the class. She turned back to look at me. The tv started crackling, something interrupted the usual announcements. I saw Maya close her eyes, she kept on muttering the same thing, that she was so sorry. I turned to the tv just as a picture of a video came up on the screen. My head shot back to Maya. She was staring at the wall now. I turned back as he video started and I felt my stomach collapse. It was the hallway during the dance. As the scene started to unfold I closed my eyes as the tears began to fall down my face. I heard someone's chair fall to the ground and running to the tv. I heard myself yelling through the tv screen. I opened my eyes and saw Farkle trying to turn off the tv. He was practically slapping the buttons but nothing was happening. Kyle started talking and I turned to see myself slam him into the lockers. Then I heard the dreaded phrase. "I did not want it. You raped me." Everything in the room stopped. Everyone's eyes were drilled glued to the tv. I turned to Maya. "Is this on every tv?" She looked down and nodded. Then I heard Farkle yelling through the tv and punching him. Then the tv screen went black. I saw Farkle holding the power cord. I turned to see all of my classmate's faces on me. I turned to the one face I dreaded most. I couldn't even decipher what was happening inside Lucas' head, his face was showing so many different emotions. I couldn't take anymore of the stares and I stood up and ran from the room. I ran out in the hall and saw people pouring out of their classrooms. A ton of people were screaming my name. They were forming a circle around me. I saw my friends push through to the center of the crowd. They didn't do anything, they all just stared at me. I was turning in circles looking at everyone. Everyone was shouting and people were taking pictures and videos. They all became blur in my head. "You want this!" "You need to tell someone." "Look who's here!" "Kyle! Stop!" "Just because we had sex." "Stop being a child!" "If you tell anyone!!!!" Suddenly I felt someone at my side. Farkle's face was a blur along with the rest of things. "Riley?" Then my vision starting fading away. I felt myself falling and someone catch me. I heard everyone yelling my name as my vision faded into blackness.

Hey, what did you think? I didn't want to make Maya the bad guy. Despite what some people may think, I don't hate Maya. And I love her and Riley's friendship and I figured that if she did this then they would never become friends again. And I didn't want that.They will explain how it happened in the next chapter. Summer has officially started and I have sat around and done nothing for two weeks. You guys have to bear with me because I am going to the beach and then to Maryland and then New York. And I won't have wifi in Maryland, but I will try to update on time. I will have wifi at the beach. But I will be busy the next few weeks so bear with me if the next few chapters are iffy.


	21. AN (06-24 01:54:04)

So I just changed a part in chapter 16 I realized I did something wrong. And I am trying to work on the new chapter but like I said i am still on a hiatus. I just got to Maryland and am going to New York in a few days and I don't have any wifi here and I don't want to use my data.


	22. Chapter 20

My head was pounding as soon as I opened my eyes. I groaned and tried to sit up, only to be pushed back down by my mom. "Honey, it's not a good idea to get up yet. Just lay down." What was she doing at school? I looked around and saw that I wasn't at school, I was now at home in my bed. I turned towards my mom. " How long was I out?" "2 hours." "How'd I get home?" "Dad brought you." I sat up and looked around. Ignoring the pain in my head. "Where is he?" She stood up. "Um he had to head back to school to take care of some stuff. Here let me go get you some Advil for your headache." She said changing the subject and leaving the room. Once she left I sank back into the pillows sighing and biting my lip. I knew that the 'stuff' that my dad had to take care of had to do with me. My mom came back in a minute later with Advil and a bottle of NyQuil. I took the Advil, but when my mom poured the NyQuil into a small measuring cup I stopped her. "Mom? What's with the Advil? It's only 3?" She shrugged and didn't look up at me. "You need your rest Riley." I eyed her but didn't say anything else. I cringed as I swallowed the red liquid. My mom took the cup I was handing her and smiled at me. Get some rest honey. I nodded and pulled up my blanket. I felt my eyes start to close as I drifted off into a deep sleep.

When I woke up I saw my mom shutting my curtains. I sat up and stretched and she turned around. "Sorry honey I didn't mean to wake you." "It's okay." I said as I turned to look at the clock. I saw that it was almost 8 and I jumped out of bed, ignoring the pounding that started as soon as I stood up. "Why didn't you wake me up sooner? I'm going to be late!" My mom reached her arm out to stop me. "You're not going to school." She guided me back to the bed and I plopped down on my mattress. "What?" "Honey do you remember what happened?" I nodded. "Of course. It's hard to forget. But I've learned that I can't run from my problems I need to face them head on." She gave me a smile that I knew was fake. I was wondering what was really going on. "That's great honey, but I think maybe you need another day or two to rest-" "Mom. Don't lie to me." I interrupted. She sighed and sat down next to me. "Okay, the principal doesn't think it's a good idea for you to come back right now. He doesn't know how the other students will react and doesn't want another incident like yesterday. He thinks it's all a bit much for everyone." I blinked while trying to process. "A bit much for them! I was the one raped not them! How am I getting punished for this?" My mom tried to grab my hand but I shook out of her grip. "You're not honey, the principal-" I stood up angrily. "Who cares what he thinks! It's my life! I'm sorry that me getting raped is affecting my classmates! Maybe they should consider how it's affecting me!" My mom tried to comfort me but I shook her off. "Please leave." "Honey-" "Mom get out!" She seemed startled, but she looked at me sadly and walked out of the room. Angry tears fell down my cheeks as I paced my room running my fingers through my hair. 'How is any of this my fault!' I grabbed my hair brush and threw it as hard as I could at my mirror. I regretted it immediately as it cracked badly. I was lucky it didn't shatter and alert my mom. I walked up to the mirror and stared at my reflection. I saw my messy hair and pale, sickly skin. I saw the tears on my cheeks and the dark circles under my eyes. I froze, because my reflection reminded me of how I looked that night. I looked broken. I couldn't take my eyes off of the mirror and my reflection. My stare was interrupted by a knocking on the window. I snapped back to life and wiped the tear off my cheeks. I went over, unlocked the window, and slid it open, which allowed Farkle to crawl in. He stopped midway when he saw me. "Geez Riley you look awful." I rolled my eyes. "Thanks Farkle that's what every girl wants to hear." He continued his way in and sat down on the window seat as I continued to stand. "Sorry." I shook my head. "So how are you?" I gave him a look. "What I'm genuinely curious. You did faint." I sighed. "If you asked me that five minutes ago I would've answered different." He gave me a puzzled look. "The principal isn't letting me come back to school. Not yet at least." "What! He can't do that!" "He said it might be difficult for the students." He looked outraged. "Hard for them!" I nodded and rolled my eyes. "I know it's ridiculous." "Ridiculous! It's outrageous!" "I know, but there's nothing I can do about it." "Well there's something I can do about it." He said while starting to climb out the window. I grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Farkle, please. Just let it be. Please it's probably only going to be for a week or so." He looked at me and seemed to settle down a little. "Fine." He checked his watch. "I gotta go or I'll be late, but I'll come by after school." He said while he pulled me into a hug. "Get some rest, you really do look terrible." I chuckled and nodded as I pulled back. I nodded towards the window. "Go." He kissed my cheek and left for school. I took a deep breath and shut the window. This was going to be a very long day.

 _I am so sorry for the accidental hiatus. I had a lot of things going on. I might not even get on a regular schedule until school starts again but I will try._

 _To address the cheek kiss. In case any of you were wondering why I put it in there. It was not romantic but platonic. I picture their relationship so close that they can do things like that and it wouldn't be weird. But I will be putting more things like that in._


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